I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I've realized how much I miss you. I've been remembering us. Those late night phone calls, hearing your breath on the other end as you fell asleep. I recall the winter that you told me you would stay in Colorado and I could do nothing but cry for rest of the day. But it turned out okay because you'd ( Read more... )

I'm young enough to move from place to place, to stay in the city for awhile and then come back home to find my bed in the living room and the windows open and wonder why I can't hear the waves crash against the rocks.

the sharp contrast between wanting nothing but to be full of drugs to wanting to emmerse myself in all that life has to offer me surprises me every day.

I have disordered eating. And a small drug problem.
Deal with it. Or don't. Either option is acceptable.

Okay, I need ( Read more... )

Standing in line at the cheap clothing store, we're both crying. Drunk on whisky sours(the bartended wanted to fuck me) and just now realizing that we're going to be apart in a couple months. We've had a good time and so we'll just smoke pot, listen to Elliott Smith and love each other for now.

And then we got there and they were playing beer pong. "Come on, Todd, I'll buy us beer, you paid for cigarettes." We play round after round until everyone is way drunk, think about a golf drinking game, drink more on the side, play a few card games, dance, and we never win, although get very excited everytime we get a ball in the cup, yelling ( Read more... )

I'm cutting out pictures and pasting them together. Making portraits of myself, of who I want to be, and then I'm storing them away, or sending them to you, my friend across the country. I think I want to be a fashion photographer, but I don't have the drive to do anything but sit around and drink coffee ( Read more... )

Today was waking up with a girl in my bed. [we got drunk and sill again last night] And then it was skipping school to take a nap on BJ's couch. [I didn't get enough sleep, I was busy talking and smoking pot in my driveway til early morning] Next I went to work and met an amazing child. [Most of the time, I am irritated by the children I teach ( Read more... )

So stressed out that it's physically painful. And I don't understand why i can't handle everything at once. i mean why can't I work thirty hours a week, take three classes, hang out, drink, do drugs, stay up all night, miss my friends, be in love, find a place to live in Chicago, get a job in Chicago, prepare my scholarship, pay my bills, and etc ( Read more... )