Comments | morty_baby: Here's what happens when drunk people

morty_baby

Here's what happens when drunk people

Mar 29, 2010 18:19

... are hungry and craving some palatable porcine pleasures. What to do with a pork roast? Why, wrap it in more pork before you throw it into the oven.

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Comments 70

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morty_baby March 30 2010, 15:48:51 UTC

The drunken garlic pig title could be yours AND mine. We poked holes and inserted AND rolled it up with cloves. Two..two. Two treats in one. Actually, that's the way I always do my roasts. Near the demise of my marriage, I wasn't 'allowed' to use much garlic in my cooking. They both said that over the years of abuse at my hands, I had *ruined* garlic for them forEVER.

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morty_baby March 30 2010, 20:49:36 UTC

No kidding. At the end, the daughter hated ALL spices because, you know, I'm a terrible mother. I had to basically cook two separate meals.

cheekyassmonkey March 30 2010, 16:28:06 UTC

i hope that barber chair has been the site of much debauchery.

morty_baby March 30 2010, 18:52:56 UTC

Oh it has, yes indeedy. It tilts back, you know. With a foot rest. And detachable cuffs.

enamon March 30 2010, 18:21:56 UTC

I came.

morty_baby March 30 2010, 18:54:10 UTC

You saw. You did not conquer. Does your whoman like the magical bulb as well? This is not a euphemism for 'penis'.

toohipanna March 31 2010, 02:37:04 UTC

needs ketchup.

morty_baby March 31 2010, 15:31:17 UTC

Ew, no. It was slathered in wonderful home made gravy.

Now go to my room!

zesty_pinto March 31 2010, 14:43:56 UTC

We? Is this the royal we we're talking about that got to nibble on your bacon bits, or did Jemma get a fair share too? If so, did she get to play in it, maybe dig into the body of the meat and then pop out like a fluffy rape alien?

morty_baby March 31 2010, 15:34:13 UTC

It could be the royal 'we'... unless you LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE. Last I heard, dogs can't be 'people' (even though dog fanatics will tell you otherwise. Jemma doesn't live here anymore, she is at the ex'sess house for a few months.

I miss my little shadow a lot.

zesty_pinto March 31 2010, 15:43:02 UTC

I don't know... with you, it could be two people because you are as awesome as two people jumping sharks over ramps through pools of amber lager.

Actually, it was more of a "HEY IT'S MORTY AND SHE POSTED, I MUST READ THE CONTENTS WITHOUT CARING ABOUT THE SUBJECT! THEN I MUST APOLOGIZE BY TYPING IN CAPS ABOUT MY MENTAL NARRATION!"

So the ex gets the daughter and the ninja hypno dog? This I disapprove of. :(

morty_baby March 31 2010, 15:59:26 UTC

Or it could be two people because I have a split personality.

WELL THEN, YOU ARE FORGIVEN MY LITTLE BEAN BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I asked him to take her. I was in a deep dark hole and having a hard time looking after myself let alone the dog but I am doing better now and I intend to take her back in a couple of weeks. It's weird living in a completely devoid of anyone else 3 bedroom, 2 storey house. Jemma used to follow me everywhere from room to room to just sit and *stare* at me and out of the corner of my eye, I keep thinking I see her. The first time I went for a walk without my little constant companion made me pretty sad, it did.

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