i see you every day in the hall
and i loathe every moment i have to look at you
but we dont say a fucking word
id rather you slam the door in my face
screaming how much you despise me
rather than holding it open
and silently leaking hate
onto my new shoes
fuck you

no one reads this anymore.

today was the most fucked up day ever.
:[ help?

i went to bed at 7 30.
now its 3 18
and i cant sleep.

last night everyone from my past showed me they didnt need me anymore.

i hate it when you're really out of a chance with someone at all.
especially when you havent seen them all summer;
then on the first day of school its like youve never really seen them before;
and at first you feel amazing..then you realize you missed your chance and feel shitty.
sometimes i wonder why this always happens to me.

schools here. its practically biting my ass. its getting colder and i dont think im too happy about it. change terrifies me, and this year is going to be completely different. ive lost a few people very dear to me as well as gained new ones. i want to go to college. i want to get away so bad. i feel like everything is beyond my control, which of ( Read more... )

i miss school
i miss my old friends
i wish i hadnt fucked up
but i did

um. so my aversion of a bad situation was cancelled out last night at sams by me succombing to the person instigating the risque business in the first place.
i feel weird now.
really weird...about it.
i knew it was a shitty idea.
but noooo, adies a stupid drunk bitch
as usual.
and i left my bag there.
-___- ugh.

other events worth mentioning ( Read more... )

props to me for avoiding another bad situation :D ( Read more... )