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[mouldytailcoat]

So I was busy giving the one-eyed monster from the basement a bit of a polish in my office when I hear the distinctive sound of bagpipes being dropped down a flight of stairs

Comments

[shouldteachdada]

Argus, that is quite an unusual account. Are you feeling quite alright?

[mouldytailcoat]

Yes. Quite holy, in fact.

[boogiedownvince]

I'm pretty sure we did not need to hear that first bit.

Reading Hogwarts staff members' posts is prooving to be really good for my diet, though.

...

[mouldytailcoat]

What's wrong with the first bit? That one-eyed monster is a fine totem pole, but it gathers dust rather too easily, I reckon.

Don't s'pose you've tried that Atkin's diet, have you? I hear it's supposed to be pretty decent.

[tart_in_tartan]

Perhaps you ought to stop by the Hospital Wing, and have yourself looked over?

[mouldytailcoat]

Only if it involves being checked out by a prettier and more nubile young thing than Poppy Pomfrey.