its odd. cause i am normally a hyperactive crazy child.. but sometimes when all is quiet and i have some instumental music goin my thoughts calm and i just am i dont know.. pulled into this dark place that i think everyone has... like this is where my realistic side really comes out.. the pessimistic(sp?) side ( Read more... )

I don’t fucking get it. I have gotten what I have always wanted and I am fucking scared… I don’t want to mess up because I am prone to doing so… I don’t want to fuck up as I am also prone to doing… and I know I will. And yes there is a difference between fucking up and messing up. And I haven’t told my mom. Cause I don’t know what to tell her. “Oh ( Read more... )

so i was in study hall after making up the chem test and i had time to think... always a BAD thing when i have time to think... well here were my thoughts... i wrote it in my notebook ( Read more... )

hrmph.. i dont want my mom to talk to my teachers... i dont think she'll hear what she wants to.. i hate being a dissapointment to my parents. it sucks. and my friendsys are all at school cept i think carolyn but lisa bobert mary and etc are all at school in DC and mr Lewek wouldnt let me shadow lisa and i wanted to cry!!! erg oh well he was just ( Read more... )

hm. romeo and juliet with leonardo dicaprio and clair danes was on today. hm romeo and juliet is a story that i love to over analyze.. i mean i take two sides on this shakespearean play. one being had they lived they would have lived in love, they would have gotten their happily ever after every wants for them, that they last. but the other take i ( Read more... )

so i had this elaborate rant about ppl and what they said and how i took it but the computer was being evil and made the window close so those who read this i am sorry but i cant remember waht i had here before so i am just gonna put this is ( Read more... )

so monday is rolling along nicely... STOP TIME STOP!!! argh there it goes another sec i shall never get back!! i dont want to wake up tom... i would rather go to school tom!! but alas it is not to be. i still have to go through with it.. i am nervous.. not really scared but more.. apprehensive.(sp?) but its just my nerves.. specially since my mom ( Read more... )

i wonder what is wrong with me... i mean there must be something wrong if... but i guess i am just hoping for something that doesnt exsist... i just wish that for once there was someone to like me, for me, with all of my oddities... but i dont think that will happen until i am like a gazillion years old.. i mean i would like my first real heart ( Read more... )

ok so today my father made me feel stupid then proceeded to make me feel like crap. cause murf my dog got into mommy glorias plants but first of all what he got into wasnt a plant but clipped leaves with stems and then put into a plastic container full of water.. and he tipped it over and i went over there and was like ohhh MURF!! and i proceeded ( Read more... )

sometimes i look through the looking glass and i dont like what i see...


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