http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpYKtirbA7E&feature=relatedRead more... )

i am no longer the person i was when i fell in love so long ago.  and when i try to be, i fall and fail and feel out of place.  i've been out of place since i started this path i felt was the only path.  it's selfish, he's right.  it's wrong to try again and persist when you are so unsure and unsteady.  it's wrong to use love as an anchor when it ( Read more... )

tired one rarely fights against

breaking broke moments into

everything put together.

called her and wished moments; well,

make-shift and bird-like friend-ship,

flying and side-by-side-like.

blood lines outlining the thin,

blatant line, crossed and ignored.

videos darkening sexual nothing.

photography lost in posed biology.

knows she cannot move comforting ( Read more... )

maybe i never knew you.  but you don't me at all.

this summer has been nothing short of head-unscrewing.
 

it always seems that when one aspect of my life calms down, another becomes increasingly unsettled.  boo hiss.

every day the air conditioned wind breaks her up in the morning, forces her to recognize where she is, in the dark, in the white-clear morning of her first free season in years.  he said seasons change, she said why not me, he said fall down deeper, she said fuck you ( Read more... )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEwg8W8hOO0&feature=related

only love can break your heart.  i cannot write about you, though i think you maybe read this.

mending takes lots of falling down and bandaging up. 
my life feels foreign to me.

( Read more... )

one morning, in the not so-distant past, she woke up to birds making noise in the tree that encompasses her window-view.  telling their story, she felt awake.  she moved out of bed to a bathroom cluttered.  with towels and perfume and remnants of her weekend clothing.  she looked in the mirror and saw herself.  the girl she wanted to become, the ( Read more... )