http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEeMRDz_Utg

i woke up today feeling like hell.  there was this blinking light in my dark basement room...the humidifier.  i love machines that defy things like humidity.  simply because i feel like i can no longer defy anything ( Read more... )

i think i am going to start writing in here like i used to when my life made no sense.  when has it made sense, you ask?  first of all, i know you don't care.  but you're correct in your posturing... it never has.  don't be illusive or even slightly condescending, gentle stranger.  i get it.  i have always gotten it.  just lately... i realize how ( Read more... )

when i work with my feet and hands, i do it with finesse, with ease.  a motion of putting something together gracefully, slowly, mechanically ( Read more... )

you keep re-emerging.  months ago, my heart dropped.  right out of me.  this heart that held you and was held up by the thought of that final time.  the time i felt i was killing time to find.  where we stop being who we are separately and give in to that actual conjoining of limbs and souls and hearts.  surgical, graphic, incomprehensible.  yet, ( Read more... )

i can't do much else today, but love the one good thing.  there is never anything to whine about.  there is never any.thing.but.you.

will you ever know how much i love you for that?

the room seems emptier the more she fills it up.  bags of memories shielding her consistent unsurity and insecurity and blank.  is she really falling in love again?  is the fact that for once, it's a man, jetsetting her into a place of vulnerability and commitment again?  a grown-up, loving, responsible person of strength, who has forgiven her for ( Read more... )

she woke up yesterday and couldn't see.  for three entire minutes, she stared into a black hole of a room or a closet or maybe it was an actual hole.  her life had become this, she thought.  but how entirely drab and uninspiring and cliche would it be if that happened to be the case.  life can be a cave.  yet, we travel to caves on cruiseships and ( Read more... )

heart leaping is one of those unexplained phenomena.  we meet people every day.  we never jump out of our skin.

heartbeats are another inexplicable sound.  sometimes we hear it.  mostly we need it.  when it pounds, it soars or makes us cry.

This house is full of secrets that i ( Read more... )