• Why is everyone getting shot in the leg? And why is it so splatter-y?
• Wait, what did Ozy do?
• What kind of rat-bastard psychotic would play that song at this moment?
• Dan Dreiberg looks like Ty Webb.
• So Ozy's grand scheme was to rebuild every major city with his construction company? Makes more sense than Quantum of Solace.

I watched P.S., I Love You Sunday night. The premise is Hilary Swank's husband dies, and, unbeknownst to her, he arranged to have a series of letters sent to her after his death ( Read more... )

Dad [Contemplating a bust]: Nat, who is this? Hadrian?

Nat: Hadrian had a beard.

Mom: Caesar.

Nat: It looks too young to be Caesar.

Dad: Caligula?

Nat: Why would there be a bust of Caligula?

Dad & Mom: He was emperor.

Nat: And everyone hated him. He was assassinated by his own Praetorian guard! How in…Jove’s….name could you think anyone could fashion a ( Read more... )

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The first thing to do is devise a narrator-one who in absolutely no way at all resembles Randy Newman. In the song “Rednecks,” for example, Randy assumes the role of an anti-Semitic Southerner singing about the North’s perception of The South. In “Political Science” he’s an uber-jingoistic American who wants to teach the rest of the world a lesson ( Read more... )

It’s that time of year again: Lake Superior State University has published their "List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General UselessnessOnce again, LSSU uses the term "Queen’s English," which, depending on your dictionary, refers to either standard/accepted English speech, or English as spoken by ( Read more... )

Supreme Court Repeals Law of Supply and Demand
Washington D.C. -- In a landmark decision made earlier this week, the Supreme Court ruled that prices can no longer be set according to the supply of goods or the demand for them.

"Too long has this fundamental point of basic economics been a thorn in the side of progress," said Chief Justice John ( Read more... )

I've spent a lot of time in England, and when you do, you can't help but pick up the merry slang and laugh at people willing to fight to the death at being called something so innocent-sounding as "Minger."

But one thing I noticed about the slang, really the whole vocabulary, is that it tries to one-up us. What we mean is that whenever the British ( Read more... )

[Three guys sitting around the living room, watching television]

Kyle: Okay Al, your turn: Name a bad Tom Hanks' movie.

Al: I didn't like Splash.

[Nat and Kyle look at each other in bemused amazement, then look back to Al]

Kyle: Uh, heh, it usually takes people a lot longer to come up with one.

Nat: Alright, here's a tougher one: Name something bad on ( Read more... )

The most evil Disney villain is Dori. She's constantly getting marlin in trouble. She is the most vile because she's smiles and pretends to help but is secretly plotting to kill him. That's why there isn't a FInding Nemo 2 (lost again). Because she eats hiim. YEP!

I like Ursula just b/c she sounds evil...but stealing souls and being an all around ( Read more... )