-
Not feeling good.
I'm feeling really self destructive, really depressed. I've been on the verge of crying for the last 20 minutes but can't back away from the edge or go over it. And I have no idea why ( Read more... ) -
You're doin' pretty good!
So I'm working out. And though that in and of itself is rather remarkable, considering my track history with staying committed to things, I'm doing it in a really fun way. I'm sticking to solely doing aerobic exercises, on a daily basis, for at least 20 minutes. I want to drop a lot of weight before I start hitting machines and trying to tone and ( Read more... ) -
So strange!
I've been feeling lonely lately. But unlike in previous years of loneliness it doesn't stem from depression. Which is really weird for me. I want to talk to people, but all of the people I text or call or email or message on various social media don't reply to me. So I've been really bored and lonely lately ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm really unsatisfied and unhappy with my life and I don't know what the fuck to do about it. -
A mini rant, more to come later
You know, I really dislike seeing a complete and total lack of larger people in music videos, even for genres like electronic dance music. I used to go to the Detroit Electronic Music Festival and there are tons of people of all sorts of different sizes there. I love dancing to electronic dance music, especially hardstyle. But there is just a lack ( Read more... ) -
Pissed!
I've been in a good mood lately, mostly due to Victoria and how amazing she is, and how proud I am to be her's (possessive, not plural). But today someone had the fucking audacity to call me an "armchair activist" because I don't like "urban explorers" that photograph ruin porn and either selfishly "just view it" or profit off of it, rather than ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
So when you get hit with that momentary, soul crushing, makes you want to cry but you can't because you're already crying so hard that you have no more tears, in that strange place between anger and suicide inducing sorrow, really bad depression, what are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to just smile, and post on Facebook that "everything is ( Read more... ) -
Fuck man. I hate having these thoughts.
I've made so many bad decisions in my life. They weight heavily on me, but in times like these especially. I want to just lose myself somewhere so I don't have to remember or think about it. It brings me ever closer to tears the more I dwell on it. Going to play some SW:TOR and think about going to get a bottole of booze to drown out the rest of ( Read more... ) -
Hmmm....
I was writing, a few months ago, an entry that was kind of like train of thought but it spanned over three or four days. Then it starting spanning weeks. I hope that I still have it, it was saved as a draft in Semagic but I haven't even thought about it or looked at it since like September. I'll go ahead and post it sometime, it has some ( Read more... )