Well, we all knew this day would come. I've decided to stop posting to my Livejournal page. I'll leave it up for as long as LJ lets me but I'm going to stop logging in so eventually, they're going to close my account. But, rest assured, if you want to read my thoughts, you still can at the following blog ( Read more... )

Time it was, and what a time it was...

I wrote this while bored at work. Feel free to respond with your own...

There once was a man from Nantucket
who didn't see the ax in time to duck it.
Now the man's got no head
(at least he's not dead!)
and when you ask him his name he says _______.

In honor of my summer beer-league softball team's first practice/scrimmage tonight, I'd like to share with you a poem I spoofed last year after CP and I challenged each other to a wiffle ball duel during our lunch break. With apologies to Ernest L. Thayer, I present to you, my faithful LJ readers, Benchly At The Bat:

Then from five throats and more ( Read more... )

Hey folks ( Read more... )

As is their legal right, my company recently told a coworker of mine that he will be laid off in two weeks after his medical leave runs out because he was unable to beat his cancer in the federally-allotted 12 weeks of time. Once the lay-off is official, his health insurance will disappear and if he wants to continue fighting for his life, he'll ( Read more... )

Today I applied for a job at The Motley Fool. The text below is my answer to one of their application questions. As Freckles would say, "Balls to the wall, baby! Balls to the wall!"...

On March 7, 2007, I applied for a job at The Motley Fool and in the application, they asked me to describe "instances where your 'grammar neurosis' caused you to edit ( Read more... )

The 79th Academy Awards are just a few short minutes away from beginning and even though I don't have the time tonight for a thoughtful entry, considering I've spent the last month boosting the box office results for each major nominee, I have to at least TRY to make some predictions. So bare with me; this will be quick and unedited (unlike the ( Read more... )

Conspiracy theorists have had a field day with the iPod's "Shuffle Songs" feature, whether or not it's completely random, and whether or not it's proof that the iPod is smarter than we think. Until today, I hadn't really noticed anything worth mentioning but then I began a shuffle of my own and here were the first three songs to play:

Mary Jo by ( Read more... )

A few years ago, while navigating my way through yet another in a long line of depressingly long and overwhelmingly single Valentine's Days on which I lamented about commercial holidays, Mia Wallace and I discussed the expectations and insincerity of said holidays. My point was that flowers on Valentine’s Day, although nice, were expected and ( Read more... )