One of my New Years resolutions was to read more. After all, I should know what kind of competition I'm up against, right? For Christmas, I got the Zombie Survival Handbook by Max Brooks. Fate, it seems, won't let people lose weight or quit smoking, but if you want to read more, it has a way of sneaking it in. I was on chapter three, about ( Read more... )

Alcohol abuse isn't a disease, it's an art form.

There really is something to be said about drinking Coke out of a martini glass while watching David Hasselhoff as the lead in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, after smoking a $0.99 cigar and listening to jazz music from a K-car radio at 2 in the morning.

Classy? Sorta. White Trash? Oh yeah. This needs a new term. White Class.

( How the Grinch Hospitalized Christmas )

I managed to pull off all my Christmas shopping in one day. It'll be a holiday of booze, popcorn, video games and painting in my house. My friends will be getting toys, stuffed animals, and more booze. I hope I've got everyone covered. People have many different reasons to be stressed this time of the year; my biggest worry is if people will like ( Read more... )

( It was the greatest Pop-Tart of my life... )

It's six in the morning, the day a paper is due, and I'm still writing it. I haven't actually read the play this paper is based on, but whatever, my professor can go suck off a shotgun for all I care. I've just bullshit 6 pages about... something, I can't even tell anymore. I once read a report that a lack of sleep can spark creativity, but it ( Read more... )

I'm up at five in the morning because Bruce wanted me to write a paper on... you guess it, gay marriage. Halfway through the paper he calls me and asks if I can write one for his room mate... opposing gay marraige. So tonight I wrote ten pages, half for gay marriage, half against. I've looked up govnerment sites, gay sites, religious sites, and ( Read more... )

( Pentath? More like... um... Yeah, I've got nothing-Part 2 )

( Pentath? More like... um... Yeah, I've got nothing. )