I am so tired of this shit. I was drivin back from the grocery store and I'll be damned if my car didn't just break down. I stuck my head under the hood and it slammed down on me and cut my head off. If I spelt something wrong, it's not my fault. I ain't got no head right now.

Goddamn it, I just love Jesus.

Lordy, I have got to tell the world. The other day I was drivin' down this back road and I saw Jesus! He was wearin' some hootchie mama outfit with green sandals and he didn't even shave his beard. Girl, I ain't neva seen no bitch with hairier legs, 'cept for my grandmother ( Read more... )

I can't get no sleep. I been scratchin' my ass all night. I needs to go to the doctor. That damn cat won't shut up. I gots to pee. I's gonna lay down and hope to fall asleep.

Mmm!!! I just love me some Clarence Thomas. I was searching on that search fuel tank or whatever you call it. My loins started burnin' something fierce, so I had to get me a cold towel ( Read more... )

Girl, I am testin' out my new diary. I hope this damn thing works.

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