please follow me back to caavebitch (my old journal). i was cooler back then.

i want to stick everyone with a superiority complex in one big room and watch them eat each other.

last night, i had my first celebrity love dream in 12 years, since devon sawa.
my dream man?
jason fucking segel.

even though he was so much cuter ten years and 20 pounds ago in slc punk.
come to me, mister segel.

being back at jamba juice is fucking awesome. imagine working with people who are virtually ALL your friends, and getting to slack off all the time but it's okay because you're no longer in a position of authority. couldn't be happier, even if i am likely only going to make $8 an hour ( Read more... )

what kind of nerd drops her english class because it's not challenging enough?
this kind.

me: long islands iced tea's and i had a nasty breakup this morning.
my dad: i heard that's what they're for.

sometimes my dad isn't an infuriating idiot.

because i refuse to go to class at 7am the morning after st. patrick's day to turn in a bullshit middle school-level essay about an alice walker story, i'm about to half-ass like the master half-asser i am, probably get an A+++ on my two-page college essay about HERITAGE (gag) that i'm going to turn into him this afternoon, then go get druuuuunk. i ( Read more... )

i've officially sold my soul back to jamba juice.

i want to get this off my chest ( Read more... )

like a stack of ignored bills, months old, my college transcript has accumulated a mass of failures, of hard-core evidence that i am a fuck-up. now that i am officially ready to look it over without a judging eye, i have - and have, in doing so, "discovered" that although this year SHOULD be my graduation year, i am exactly one third of the way ( Read more... )