Rule 34, where are you?

[mshcherbatskaya]

I did a search for "geoduck porn" and got nothing but food geek stuff. I find it ironic that the first failure of rule 34 I have ever been able to find happens to involve the Jon Holmes of the bivalve world.

Comments

[mshcherbatskaya]

My friend almightyjoe even checked 4chan and came up with nothing, which is to say, he posted the question to /b/ and got called a fag and offered a picture of a man with a wine bottle in his ass, which, by 4chan standards is damn near affectionate.

Rule 34 has failed. Great Ford, I hope I didn't just bring about the first crack of the eventual shattering of the internet.

[almightyjoe]

Rule 35: If there isn't, someone will make it.

All porn exists 'In potentia', as it were, it merely takes the right pressure on the quantum field to collapse the wave form into the necessary neuron functions of the 'porn-ee' or 'recipient' of the desire to create geoduck porn.

If one were to isolate the 'Geoduck-Signal', or 'G-spot', it could be said that geoduck porn would come hurtling into existence with only the lingering smell of fish and female genitals. Possibly indiscernible from each other. In fact, it has been theorized that with the right signals or 'quantum foreplay', one could generate any image, given one of the golden rules of fetishes in general.

To someone, somewhere, everything is porn.

[mshcherbatskaya]

Is it strange that I find Rule 35...reassuring?

[almightyjoe]

It is to everyone, until you realize just what must inevitably become porn.

At this point, the temptation to make a 'polished helmet' joke is just too overwhelming to resist; Polished Helmet.