I didn't take to my bed with a bottle of vodka. Instead I went to visit my friend Jade and the vodka came along for the ride ( Read more... )

Oh, to hell with them. When I get home I’m going to take to my bed with a bottle of vodka.

Today is one of those days where I have to drag myself out of bed early and onto the bus before I have enough time to contemplate resetting my alarm or calling in sick. If you mix spending most of the night awake contemplating your navel and writing letters in your head with a killer flu you'll get: angst, yawn, sneeze, angst, yawn, sneeze

I ( Read more... )

I want to talk about something but if I articulate it I’ll think that I’m a lousy person. Much better to hint vaguely at inner turmoil. So I spent my lunch hour wondering around it the book store debating if I should spend a ridiculous amount of money on an inappropriate gift (it gave its price in pounds. How delightful! Only I know that 16 pounds ( Read more... )

I have the flu and my head is fuzzy and I’m thinking about love and wondering if I should hurl myself out the nearest window. Happily the windows up here don’t open and have thwarted a perfectly good go splat opportunity.

There is a woman that I work with that I can't stand. Everything about her grates on me from her over bleached hair to her to overt devotion to the company we work for. She's a true believer and if you do something that she likes she'll rave on about how impressed she is about your contribution to the companies well being.

She's annoying.

She's ( Read more... )

Jade:How are you?

Me: Blah, blah

Jade:I have tiny white lumps at the back of my throat do you know what might of caused them?

Me: Um…no…maybe you have a throat infection?

Jade: Do you know anything that could give me tiny lumps in the back of my throat?

Me: huh? No….

Then I remember the new female ejaculating girlfriend!

Me:Oh! You big whore ( Read more... )

Last night when I was walking home after eating dinner with people from work a guy sidled up beside me and began his mating dance. He was the sort of boy who probably has "abandon all hope ye impaled here" written on his penis. His mating dance involved talking about the "eradication of disease and prolonging of human life" and offering me ( Read more... )

My uncle is a 75 year old caustic Frenchman who has recently been taking part in nude anti-war protests (In one 750 naked women spelled out "No War" in his 250 men spelled out "peace, man") so of course, he and his wife are among my very favourite relatives. It was my aunt's 60th birthday this weekend and a gathering of the (extended, divorced, ( Read more... )