LJI S9.4, “Nobody can ride your back if your back's not bent"

[muchtooarrogant]

Dan was exiting the shower when he heard the suspicious noise from the bedroom

Comments

[ecosopher]

Haha I loved this! And fundraising chocolate! Whoever was the evil person who thought up that idea, right?

[muchtooarrogant]

Hahaha, I know, right? The World's Finest Chocolate folks have been around since I was doing fund raisers in high school though, a very well-entrenched evil! :)

Thanks for reading and letting me know you liked my little story.

Dan

[faerie_spark]

What a fun story. I enjoyed its playfulness. You have a good storytelling voice.

[muchtooarrogant]

Why thank you. The voice you like in this one is probably a result of the participants, myself and Lizbeth. You know that old writing recommendation, "Write what you know." I just imagined how such a situation would unfold, and I was off. :)

Thanks for reading and telling me what you thought.

Dan

[dreamsreflected]

very cute. I was expecting something much more sinister after how it started but the end definitely won me over.

[muchtooarrogant]

sinister? That's interesting. I did my best to make the whole thing playful, but I suppose I can understand how I might have lead you a bit down that path. *grin* Bedroom, mysterious noises, and all that. Ah well, someday I'll write you a nice murder mystery.

Thanks for reading.

Dan

[tatdatcm]

Aw. This was a sweet and fun entry.

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you!

Dan

[kathrynrose]

This was delightful! I love your descriptions. Well done!

[muchtooarrogant]

Thanks, with a piece as dialogue driven as this one, I tried to make the descriptions really stand out. Well, and over the top too, but that sort've went with the tone.

Thanks for reading.

Dan