Viburnum

Dec 14, 2015 03:11

LJI FAR 2: Follow Me ( Read more... )

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Comments 34

rayaso December 14 2015, 19:51:44 UTC
So very well done! I enjoyed the ending and your descriptive language. I hope James made it to the airport on time.

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muchtooarrogant December 14 2015, 20:01:08 UTC
Thank you! As a blind guy, I'm trying to work on my descriptions, and am glad you enjoyed them here. Dialogue will probably always be my favorite way of defining characters, but this time I thought I'd see just how little I could get away with. :)

Dan

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bleodswean December 14 2015, 23:43:41 UTC
A poignant twist. I love how you made this place so real!

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muchtooarrogant December 15 2015, 01:30:37 UTC
Thank you for reading and leaving such kind words.

Dan

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sinnamongirl December 15 2015, 00:44:54 UTC
I really enjoyed this, the sense of melancholy and nostalgia with a hint of sweetness. Good job!

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muchtooarrogant December 15 2015, 01:28:02 UTC
Thank you!

Dan

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witchwife December 15 2015, 06:01:36 UTC
Oh heyyy Dan! Glad to see you're competing this time around as well!

Love how you took us on a psychological journey with James as well as so eloquently described the physical events unfolding. My favourite pieces are those that invoke empathy for the protagonist. You've done such an excellent job at it.

-
Nichole

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muchtooarrogant December 15 2015, 13:22:28 UTC
Hi there, and thank you!

Yes, I felt I needed to show the reader just why the hedge was so important to James and Drea, so it was "back to the past" time. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the journey, and appreciate the kind words.

Dan

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halfshellvenus December 16 2015, 06:38:29 UTC
This was a really nice, vivid snapshot into James' childhood. The closeness between him and his sister was so clear, and yo could see why it still hurt so much to have lost her, and why trying to recapture memories would be so important when recapturing her is what he wants and cannot have.

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muchtooarrogant December 16 2015, 13:40:17 UTC
Thank you! I'm glad their closeness came through in the story. I didn't want it to be too sappy, and hopefully dodged that bullet. *grin*

Dan

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