Viburnum

Dec 14, 2015 03:11

LJI FAR 2: Follow Me ( Read more... )

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Comments 34

theun4givables December 16 2015, 13:49:08 UTC
I've found myself drawn to a childhood home once or twice -- it's crazy how the little changes seem to make the biggest difference.

James may have thought the trip wasted but I think it brought to him a sense of closure he may have needed. :)

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muchtooarrogant December 16 2015, 13:59:08 UTC
I think you're right. That's why we have high school reunions and such, yes? That need for closure, to say, even if only to yourself, "This place was and is important to me." (Of course, I didn't go to any of my high school reunions. LOL)

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Dan

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logical_fallacy December 16 2015, 14:49:29 UTC
This was really sweet and very evocative. Well done.

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muchtooarrogant December 16 2015, 14:50:41 UTC
Thank you!

Dan

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misfitmanor December 16 2015, 21:45:29 UTC
Incredibly visual narrative, and beautiful, at that. The tenderness, too, he feels for his sister, is apparent. Easily recognized by someone like myself with 5 brothers. You captured this moment well. And the gesture of a commemorative branch of flowers from their shared history would brighten her room more than any other get well wish. Well done.

~karmasoup

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muchtooarrogant December 16 2015, 22:03:25 UTC
Thank you so much! You know that feeling, when you've reached the end of a story, but are floundering around and desperately trying to figure out how to end it? That was me at the end of this piece. Did I leave the hedge intact, or go in another direction and demolish it? I didn't mind introducing the emotional darkness of the hedge no longer being there, but it pretty much eliminated any possibility of what I would consider to be a meaningful ending--other than, "Life sucks!" I played with a few alternate possibilities; maybe James gets a phone call from Drea, who's doing better, and laughs with him about where he is, but it felt contrived.

Anyway, I'm glad you like the eventual ending I chose--I'm kind of attached to it now myself. *grin*

Dan

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m_malcontent December 17 2015, 00:11:23 UTC
Very strong stuff.

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muchtooarrogant December 17 2015, 02:14:23 UTC
Thank you!

Dan

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eternal_ot December 17 2015, 13:33:07 UTC
I loved the built up here...got me hooked with James obsession to find his lost childhood..and the end was perfect!..Good work.

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muchtooarrogant December 17 2015, 15:53:22 UTC
Thank you! I appreciate the comment, and glad you liked it.

Dan

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