A mesmerising read. The bond between James and Drea so beautifully captured. The small moments between them , convdersations all making up memories years later ... Touching ... Good Job and Good Luck :)
I REALLY enjoyed this. The pervasive nostalgia and slight melancholy tinge to everything was so well done.
the sun’s light was everywhere; relentless rays flashing off the metal skinned cars on all sides and sparkling up from the wet pavement underneath his tires.
What great detail! I immediately felt the glare, and knew exactly what you meant in a very concrete way. You've done details really well through the whole piece, making things feel very vivid.
Thank you so much! I'm glad that particular sentence brought home how James was feeling, I knew I needed to communicate his desperation to find the peacefulness of that childhood place again, and that sentence was a major part of it.
Yeah, if I look back on other stuff I've written, I frequently tend to do the nostalgia and melancholy thing. :)
Again, thank you for reading and leaving such kind words.
Even with the ending twist, this story just makes me feel so sad. Something about the whole idea of safe places when we're kids that really only work when we're young. When we're older they just remind us of the reasons we needed them. Lovely, poignant.
This is a different kind of memory of a youthful safe place, but it evokes a similar feeling in me - it should be happy, but it speaks of a much greater loss.
I think you're right, it is sad when you're forced to realize that the place that was your haven of childhood safety is now just a place like any other. When I wrote this, I had the phrase we all know at the back of my mind, "You can't go home again."
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Dan
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Thank you!
Dan
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the sun’s light was everywhere; relentless rays flashing off the metal skinned cars on all sides and sparkling up from the wet pavement underneath his tires.
What great detail! I immediately felt the glare, and knew exactly what you meant in a very concrete way. You've done details really well through the whole piece, making things feel very vivid.
Fantastic!
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Yeah, if I look back on other stuff I've written, I frequently tend to do the nostalgia and melancholy thing. :)
Again, thank you for reading and leaving such kind words.
Dan
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I love this! I love everything about it.
But...I need to know about Drea.
Wonderfully written!
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Dan
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This is a different kind of memory of a youthful safe place, but it evokes a similar feeling in me - it should be happy, but it speaks of a much greater loss.
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Thank you for reading and commenting.
Dan
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