Tabitha died today. I miss Josh so much i feel like I can't breathe sometimes. The whole Chad situation makes me feel like a total bitch. Mike is going to New York to see a show without me. Billy is... Billy. I have been in such an irritable mood lately. Ash, Theresa and Zoe have been amzing, though, bringing me dinner and flowers tonight to ( Read more... )

I graduated, and now I get to sleep again. Since I graduated, I have met a lot of guys, and the old familiar drama from high school is creeping back into my life... I think I missed it. This week I had a date every night, which is a nice change from never going out, although my Monday night date never happened because I blew him off, the Tuesday ( Read more... )

quote of the day: "You can't be white trash- you're a Jew!" (I love Kruti!)

it started to rain, just a light drizzle, but enough to really feel it, like very soft pin pricks all over your body. I turned my face up towards the sky, and tried to feel each drop individually. the sky was sort of glowing, sort of a soft reddish-purple, like it does sometimes in the middle of the night, and i could just barely see it through ( Read more... )

I am so frustrated! I had a great sociology class today. I was up all night reading for my two sociology classes, and I find myself getting so passionate about it, all worked up like I do for my majors, and I don't know what to do. I wish I had taken more sociology classes, I am so interested in it, but it seems like it is too late. How is it ( Read more... )

mike just came to the library. he hates me. he makes me cry still. he makes me feel like the worst person he knows. i know i hurt him, and i never wanted to, but i don't know how to make it better. i have to move on. i know he wants to hurt me. I just wish he didn't know how to do it so well ( Read more... )

my day began as the extension of an all-nighter, consisting of a couple of really sucky projects, a lot of coffee, and some clarification and bonding with a good friend. i got see a really peaceful sunrise over our little suburban street, it was so nice, just warm enough, and I was all alone. had an amazing conversation with dr. c, didn't mean to ( Read more... )

i hate this. I wish I could stop worrying about other people, becuase it never does any good. they hate me for being a mom, and then I just feel worse than if I had been worrying. I bet this is really what being a mom is like. i feel so empty lately, and i don't know how to make that feeling go away... just lonely, and sad, and tired and I don ( Read more... )

my days don't get much shittier than this... and as bad as today is, I know that there are people out there who have it so much worse, and I am trying to keep that in mind- that I am lucky to have my problems and not somebosy else's- but still, in my little piece of reality, today blows. and probably tomorrow will, too, even if the sun does come

i don't remember the last time i had a day that sucked as much as today. after a weekend of trying to study over the dim of partying in my house, I have retreated to the library to try and find peace, though the girls giggling and gossiping behind me are not making it easy. told a friend a story and he got mad, won't even admit that it could ( Read more... )