everything is so beautiful. i turn 20 on tuesday, who ever would have thought i'd make it. i love everyone in my life and i have the greatest sponser, friends, family, boyfriend, and support group that i could have ever asked for. i shared tonight at a meeting that i have truly never, in my 20 years, felt so grateful and so blessed. everything is ( Read more... )

When I look back at my life and the various forks in the road I’ve encountered, deciding whether to turn left or right or to blindly plow forward straight onto the unpaved path, I am now able to see where I erred, where I succeeded and how now, with this crystal clear retrospect, I may have done this or that differently. But instead of wallowing in ( Read more... )

i never realized how lucky people in relationships are when they get to see their significant other every/almost every day ( Read more... )

it's been years since i've been this genuinely happy with another human being. or just this happy in general. worked my second step with melaine the other night. came to believe is something i could never handle up until this time around. it's a really cool experience to get honest like that with another person, especially someone like mel who ( Read more... )

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I think that in 15 years if I heard this song I would think exactly of this point in time of my life. Just because.

My mom almost died last night. Matt and I spent all night in the ER with my sister and Eden. She's okay now, still there, in the spinal unit of the hospital. I felt terrible that my sister was here by herself when it happened. Matt stayed with me all night. Over and over I let you in, sleepy eyes at 9 am. Hot shower. Hot drive back to north county ( Read more... )

feeling so fucking good about the future.

I read over thing I have written months and months ago, on random scrap pieces of paper, notebooks, the word pad on my laptop, my livejournal. it all seems like someone else wrote it. i feel like my feelings were felt by other people and not me ( Read more... )

Some days I don't understand how I am such a blessed human being. I try and make reason as to why I didn't die while on drugs, how I could have harmed so many people but kept on living.. well not really living, just walked around such a shell of a person with a mask on. And today I don't have to do any of that. Laughs aren't forced, smiles come so ( Read more... )

Everything makes sense. Everything feels right. Everything is exactly where it belongs, especially when I'm with you.