My word for today has been:

Incongruous

Many times have I needed to use this word given the days events.

For the past however many days since the Superbowl I have had the most wicked sore throat in existence. The worst part is the fever though - frozen solid one second, sweating gallons the next. Wtf ( Read more... )

Phil holds the hammer.
Todd Newton's heart is shattered.
Pick up the pieces?

Bowling tournament qualifier first thing in the morning. I've been throwing rocks lately so I should be a shoo in for the next round. Four consecutive 500 series with 4 190+ games out of the last 16 games ( Read more... )

Conan O'brien just gave a dude in the audience a Chocolate Lucky Charms tote bag, and when the guy recieved it, he threw up the shocker, and they bleeped it out. Conan was like, what the heck is that? Are you a white gangster?" And the dude was kind of uncomfortable but he was like, "It's the shocker."

GGRRRreat big globs of greasy grimey gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
chopped up birdy feet
french fried eyeballs dipped in a pool of blood
Oops I forgot my spoon!

SO I'll use a straaawwwww

Today was completely wasted. I didn't do a damn thing. I think the novelty and acceptance of my favorite deadly sin of sloth is disintegrating. I didn't shower, I didn't leave the house. I didn't even change out of my flannel pants and old t-shirt. Shameful ( Read more... )

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Have you ever counted out change and gone to buy something only to find out that you don't have quite enough money because you counted 60 cents as a dollar instead of 100? That happened to me one time in 1998 when I wanted to buy some Starburst jellybeans.

I hung out with my old neighbor buddy and his friends and we got to drinking. I was pounding double shots of cheap whiskey and chasing it with water. They thought I was the man. We ended up at City Limits. It was ok. I wanted to try Adam's hookah, but there's always next time. I have 6 hours before bowling. I rule.