I think having to wait another month before starting estrogen has made me have a reality check when it comes to expectations, of myself and of life in general ( Read more... )

Bluh conflict. Bluh bad communication. I wish I were better about paying attention to how I feel and asking for things I need. I feel like sometimes I'm so detached from them that I don't even realize that I'm needing something until I start feeling irritated and grumpy and irrationally mad. Danielle and I had a conflict today about hanging out and ( Read more... )

Weeeeeeeeee stream of consciousness stuffs! <3 mowf ( Read more... )

Whew back from tour. Oh my gawd it was so good for my heart and felt really great to go on extended adventures. I'm dealing with some upkeep after tour now, though, emotionally and logistically. Moving into a new house, getting food stamps, ect. Figuring out some emotional stuff that came up on tour that I didn't have time to process then ( Read more... )

I think I just need to relax a little bit about co-dependence. I feel like thinking about it too much has cause me to start pushing away more than what I actually think is healthy or necessary. I don't want my fear of hurting or getting hurt to cause me to not open myself up to intimacy and affection ( Read more... )

It's become apparent to me that I occasionally use livejournal as a means for getting out anger about things that upset me and that sometimes they're pretty harsh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yeeeeeeeeeah about that. I think it can definitely seem hostile and not healthy to someone with less of a background of who I am, and the things I write ( Read more... )

Thanks for at least telling me that you lied to me. I wished you just hadn't fucking lied to me in the first place, though. I wish you had just been honest with me. That really hurt my feelings and really pisses me the fuck off. I can't fucking believe you did that after I had just been feeling so irrationally jealous and insecure about other ( Read more... )

I'm about to move soon, but I'm not sure it'll be the right fit and I think it's one of those situations where I wont know whether it is or not until I jump into it. The folks I might live with are people I didn't know until I started expressing interest in living at their home. I'm scared of it not working or not connecting to them super closely, ( Read more... )

Flat bike tire. Quiet houses that making noise in sometimes feels like lighting a match in a blizzard. Hocking loogies and nose blowing. Blowing out the things that aren't serving me anymore. The same function happens with my heart, except it comes out of my mouth mostly. Coughing out the things my heart does that doesn't work well anymore. And ( Read more... )

Serious talk with friend postponed until they have time to deal with other immediate issues. I wish it could happen soon, though. I just want to have closure on the whole situation. I want to be through with it and past it and have it not keep affecting my partner. Also remembering not to take it onto myself too hard and riddle myself with guilt ( Read more... )