Doug: Flatmate. Under National, Doug's job as a illustration tutor is considered "miscellaneous" spend ( Read more... )

Sick of pilots and cabin crew showing up for work drunk, Air New Zealand introduced its "zero tolerance" drug and alcohol policy well before I joined the team. As the guardians of all things policy, my team adhered strictly to the rules. While at client lunches, we watched longingly as others picked between white and red while we picked between ( Read more... )

I'm trying to decide if I'm a good sleeper or just a borderline narcoleptic. Without fail, as soon as a plane is at the top of ascent, I'm fast asleep. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is. Suddenly, I just drop off ( Read more... )

Klingon Fairy Tales

By Mike Richardson-Bryan"Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears ( Read more... )

I've been losing my hearing for the past four months. The process has been so slow that I've barely noticed the theft. Finally, annoyed by having to concentrate on people's lips moving in order to bolster my understanding of conversations, I went to the doctor and got myself sorted ( Read more... )

They were making me leave the plane via stairs and I thought all my worst fears had been realised. Stairs?! I'm not a pop star waving to my fans and this isn't the 1970s.

Before getting out of my seat, I had decided that work in this place would be more pain than pleasure.

And then I saw the view. It was Lord of the Rings in person, complete ( Read more... )

Paul: Friend and former boss. In mid-conversation, Paul pulled out the best line. I remembered it because I thought it would make a good bumper sticker. He said: "Compromise if you have to but don't plan ahead for it". If one of you fuckers tells me that's a famous quote, I'm gonna bash you ( Read more... )

Tania: South African friend in London. After the bombing she walked home for three hours ( Read more... )

Kyle: Friend. Kyle took my phone home with him by accident on Sunday morning and I didn't realise. In an attempt to find it, I asked the bartender to call it and he said he would after the music stopped and the bar closed. At 11am he asked all the other drunk and drugged patrons - there were about 50 of them - to be quiet because if someone ( Read more... )

I want to make sweet, sweet love to my "Dimetapp Day & Night", cold, cough and flu tablets. I haven't felt this good in days and I haven't been this high in weeks. I'm thinking about inhaling pseudoephedrine as a regular work-day activity because I've become so productive. The only hindrance to this plan would be the pharmacists selling the ( Read more... )