Leave a comment

Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 06:07:07 UTC
(I decided to set myself a 200 word limit.)

It's raining outside, pouring buckets; the thunder and lightning make it nearly impossible for Lily Potter to think clearly. She wants to scream and break things until she feels whole.

The baby is in his crib, crying, again"This isn't a life for him, James." she says, scooping up small Harry in her arms ( ... )

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) starry_laa August 7 2011, 09:18:40 UTC
This is sad and wonderful at the same time. You get a true sense of the despair the whole being-in-hiding thing must have brought them and James' trying his best to protect his family and reassure his wife is touching.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 18:57:00 UTC
Thank you very much! Glad you liked it. :D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) firstbreaths August 7 2011, 09:21:06 UTC
I'm just going to sit here and fix my heart back up with sticky tape. ♥

Having said that, I adore the dynamic here -- that Lily is scared and all, but mostly just so incredibly frustrated and that James is trying so hard to be supportive and reassuring even though he's obviously just as terrified.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 18:59:43 UTC
Aww, I'll help you stick it back up! haha. :D

Frustrated is the perfect word. I'm so glad I was able to get that point across. I'm very happy you liked it and I appreciate the kind words!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) con_spire August 7 2011, 10:18:42 UTC
This is heart-breaking. You captured the tragedy of the war so succinctly.

“I promise you, it’ll all be over soon."

It kind of haunts me because for Lily and James, it really will be over, all too soon. :( damn, girl. <3

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:04:54 UTC
thank you!

I like to think this took place just seconds before Voldemort comes barging through the door, so yes, it will be done very soon. ;D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) celestineangel August 7 2011, 13:24:22 UTC
::sobs::

Seriously this is so... OMGs, thank you for filling this. Like everyone else said, you've really captured the emotion, what it must feel like to be so cooped up for such an important, frightening reason. You've conveyed James' fear without saying it outright, and how much they love each other despite it all.

Love this, love you, thank you!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:08:51 UTC
haha. You're very welcome!

Your prompt immediately jumped out at me and it's the very first piece of James/Lily I have ever written! Keep up the great prompts! :D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) kazzamoonshadow August 7 2011, 13:31:51 UTC
Oh, god... That last line is so sad... And with the desperation, I'm rather glad it's not longer, or else I'd probably be crying...

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:12:55 UTC
Aww, don't cry! haha. Glad you liked it.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) museme87 August 7 2011, 14:08:25 UTC
Such a tense moment. It's so easy to tell that James and Lily are both at their breaking point here. For some reason, I get the impression that Lily is ready to throw caution to the wind in her frustration and just do something about it. James, on the other hand, is just scared out of his wits but feels like he's bottling it up to keep it together. It was really heartbreaking. I also loved your use of dramatic irony here.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:23:01 UTC
I think her mindset at this point is "Let's find him before he finds us and get it over with." She's just tired and terrified and she's usually the careful one but their roles have been shifting for a while...must not ramble

Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for putting this comment ficathon together!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) liebedance August 7 2011, 15:02:57 UTC
I can really feel the unease and the frustration in this piece. and the "it'll all be over soon" is just so sad :(

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:27:22 UTC
thanks! i'm glad i was able to get those emotions across. :D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) peskywhistpaw August 7 2011, 15:24:00 UTC
Oh. *sniffles* This is sweet by the end, until you remember that it really will be all over soon. I enjoyed it nonetheless, well done. :)

Reply


Leave a comment

Up