Leave a comment

Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 06:07:07 UTC
(I decided to set myself a 200 word limit.)

It's raining outside, pouring buckets; the thunder and lightning make it nearly impossible for Lily Potter to think clearly. She wants to scream and break things until she feels whole.

The baby is in his crib, crying, again"This isn't a life for him, James." she says, scooping up small Harry in her arms ( ... )

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 7 2011, 19:24:27 UTC
Thank you. :D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) eprime August 8 2011, 19:06:11 UTC
Ack, it will, won't it? :( Very nice.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 10 2011, 23:18:23 UTC
thanks. ;D

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) iltash August 9 2011, 06:49:50 UTC
oh, wow, the last line (“I promise you, it’ll all be over soon.") was heartbreaking. Because it was over soon after that, but they didn't know and that's... This saddens me. I also loved the contrast between breaking things until feeling whole. I feel like this captured the dilemma really well.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 10 2011, 23:21:32 UTC
thank you very much!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) klose August 10 2011, 06:31:04 UTC
Ack! That last line! D: D: D:

Great depiction of the tense restlessness of the time, though - you did a great job of setting up the atmosphere, with the thunderstorm and them peeking out the window. This is lovely, if rather painful to read!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 10 2011, 23:22:06 UTC
thanks so much!

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) zia_montrose August 22 2011, 03:18:05 UTC
Lovely little bit of fic. Felt very immediate and real--and that last line, ugh. Nice job in so few words.

Reply

Re: Fateful night (G) desds August 22 2011, 03:31:22 UTC
thank you very much ;)

Reply


Leave a comment

Up