as i sit here in my half empty room in richmond, i realize that i truly am blessed. i have lots of debt, and i sucked this semester in school, and my family is ripped to shreds, but i don't care. i have the opportunity to do something amazing, and i have the best friends in the entire universe right there next to me. and i have music, which ( Read more... )

i leave in 5 days for snowshoe for about 4 months. i'm really excited, and really scared. i love my friends so much, and i wish i could show them somehow. i watched punch drunk love tonight, and the scene where adam sandler beats the shit out of the 4 blonde brothers makes me so happy. not because he beats the shit out of them, but because of what ( Read more... )

it's been a little bit since i've updated, so i figured i'd go for it. i'm leaving in exactly 10 days for snowshoe, and i couldn't be more thrilled. i'm really scared about leaving everything i know and love behind, but i'm also leaving everything i hate. not that i hate anything, it's just more like things make me hate being here and not being ( Read more... )

i'm finally back. i hate how holidays always turn into stressfests. it's never enjoyable. and i hate it. everyone is always too busy focusing on everything that's not going right to pay attention to the fact that we all have the chance to be together at all. some people never see their whole families ever. i don't know, it just hurts having to sit ( Read more... )

i wish i could stop crying. someone please make it stop. and help me get out of here forever, before i destroy everything i've created and am forced to leave.

i can't take it anymore. i have to get out soon. i hurt so bad inside. i want to help everyone. and i wish i could make people smile, and i feel like i'm losing that gift. like i'm growing more and more distant from the people i really love. and it scares me to death. i don't know what i would do if i lost these people. i have to figure out who i ( Read more... )

i'm going to find myself. because i really have no idea who i am. and i feel like i don't fit in anywhere. and i know i can't go on living like this. everyone (well most people, anyway) take a little bit of time every once and a while for themselves, where they don't care about anything else but themselves for just a little bit. it helps them to be ( Read more... )

i don't want to be in school right now. or anymore even. but i know i need to stick with it. i just feel so sick all the time, and i don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. and i hate myself sometimes. i just feel like i screw up a lot ( Read more... )

garden state is amazing. and i can't stop thinking about how so much stuff that's been happening recently in my life is like hinting to me that i should be doing something really important or something. i wish i could figure out what i'm doing here.

snowshoe in less than 24 hours. w00t.

and these pictures can't even explain what's missing in my life ( Read more... )