I have also struggled with 'but aren't I a writer?'. I think we're both of the generation who went into university when there was still some expectation that we'd come out the other side 'set' career-wise, only to find that this was something of a myth.
If you ever want to talk, poke me.
As for feeling that you haven't earned sadness, or that your life isn't 'hard enough' to feel bad, in my experiences of melancholy, our mind and psyches just don't work like that. You have as much right to feel not happy as anyone else, and anybody who tells you otherwise is playing that terrible game of one-downmanship and is frankly a silly. It does help to keep some context on our difficulties, but never as an excuse to try and deny our own feelings.
The act of writing it down is a positive step. No words of wisdom here, but I do empathise and get where your coming from. Its been an interesting year for me creatively (but now's not the time to go into it). Work does hone and distract the weirdest ways. Good luck with it all.
Externalise it That's about the best advice I can give even though I know I'm mostly a hypocrite here. I can recount one point where I was feeling depressed and down a fair bit but felt that it was stupid to feel that way and I 'didn't have the right to' but when I finally actually told somebody I still knew I was in a better boat than most but it helped put it in proportion to have somebody else agree with what my brain was trying to convince me.
I recall when I got the first 'my parents aren't this immortal rock' realisation. Actually you were the poor sod who happened to ask me how I was right after I'm afraid. I know it can be a shock to the system somewhat.
I'm useless for advice but I can listen if you want should it come to that but you do have plenty of people around who can and will do the same.
Remember, everybody has the right to feel what they feel.
That's enough from me, before I go from sagish to insane rambling.
It sounds, to me, like you're at your best, writing-wise, when collaborating. This makes sense in a lot of ways; the other party's involvement creates deadlines, providing external motivation, and allows you to rekindle a creative spark when it's just embers otherwise.
The trick, I suspect, may come in part in accepting that there's nothing wrong with that approach. Setting aside the 'phantom collaborations' that go unmarked on the spines and setting aside comics which tend to have multiple inputs, if I turn my head and look at my shelves I can see a lot of books with multiple names on the spines.
It's just a way to go.
Good luck with it, though, man. Once you find your own beat, the whole world opens up.
Hopefully this won't come across badly. However this is read, please don't read it as "Dude, I totally loved reading about your problems! Your suffering brings me entertainment
( ... )
Comments 7
I have also struggled with 'but aren't I a writer?'. I think we're both of the generation who went into university when there was still some expectation that we'd come out the other side 'set' career-wise, only to find that this was something of a myth.
If you ever want to talk, poke me.
As for feeling that you haven't earned sadness, or that your life isn't 'hard enough' to feel bad, in my experiences of melancholy, our mind and psyches just don't work like that. You have as much right to feel not happy as anyone else, and anybody who tells you otherwise is playing that terrible game of one-downmanship and is frankly a silly. It does help to keep some context on our difficulties, but never as an excuse to try and deny our own feelings.
Much love.
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The act of writing it down is a positive step. No words of wisdom here, but I do empathise and get where your coming from. Its been an interesting year for me creatively (but now's not the time to go into it). Work does hone and distract the weirdest ways. Good luck with it all.
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That's about the best advice I can give even though I know I'm mostly a hypocrite here. I can recount one point where I was feeling depressed and down a fair bit but felt that it was stupid to feel that way and I 'didn't have the right to' but when I finally actually told somebody I still knew I was in a better boat than most but it helped put it in proportion to have somebody else agree with what my brain was trying to convince me.
I recall when I got the first 'my parents aren't this immortal rock' realisation. Actually you were the poor sod who happened to ask me how I was right after I'm afraid. I know it can be a shock to the system somewhat.
I'm useless for advice but I can listen if you want should it come to that but you do have plenty of people around who can and will do the same.
Remember, everybody has the right to feel what they feel.
That's enough from me, before I go from sagish to insane rambling.
*hug*
Reply
It sounds, to me, like you're at your best, writing-wise, when collaborating. This makes sense in a lot of ways; the other party's involvement creates deadlines, providing external motivation, and allows you to rekindle a creative spark when it's just embers otherwise.
The trick, I suspect, may come in part in accepting that there's nothing wrong with that approach. Setting aside the 'phantom collaborations' that go unmarked on the spines and setting aside comics which tend to have multiple inputs, if I turn my head and look at my shelves I can see a lot of books with multiple names on the spines.
It's just a way to go.
Good luck with it, though, man. Once you find your own beat, the whole world opens up.
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