I haven't seen five minutes of Bram Stoker's Dracula (the movie, that is), and it makes me nauseous with its stupidity. Good lord. I can't believe this is for real.
When did Dracula become a tongue-slitting, compulsive, hideous, old homosexual man-whore?!
Oh my god, that's Keanu ReevesI've now watched it for about ten minutes, during which I
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