Waiting for the Sun - 7 - Life's for the Living
[MASTER POST]
Sometimes - in the waning hours of dawn when Jasper pretended to sleep - he still dreamt about blinding sunshine, golden fields of grass, and the lazy breeze of the distant home of his earliest human memories. Nevertheless, he could not help but be amazed at the vast, raw, almost relentless beauty of the Washington Peninsula. His house surreally sat on the shore of an inlet lined with lush whispering evergreens, and whose depths remained murky and calm. He had chosen this dwelling for its isolation from the other houses across the water.
On especially cloudy days, Jasper liked to swim in this small islet where, buoyed by the lull of the cool waves, his mind would settle and he would be at peace. One weekend afternoon as he lazily floated on his back, a faint sound - of hollow wood crunching and scraping against soil and wet rocks - reached his ears from the other side of the shore. He stealthily ducking under the water up to his eyes, ready to disappear from view if needed. His stomach did a turn; a girl with pale golden hair emerged into the clearing, dragging behind her an old canoe.
credit: Sanborn Canoe Company
Haphazardly but with perseverance, Aurelia pulled the heavy load into the shallow waters. Jasper tried not to chuckle softly as he watched her struggle with coordinating the two oars. Eventually, the girl managed to row herself out farther and farther until she floated to the middle of the expanse quite pleased with herself. Wrapping her scarf tighter, she inhaled the lofty air and stared out at the nature around her, while Jasper gazed at her pensive, unguarded expression. He longed to call out her name, to join her, but he did not want to be a ripple that disturbed her world.
“Aurelia!” a mature female voice resounded from behind the trees. “Come back inside; lunch is ready!”
Aurelia sighed and slowly made her way back to the shore where she propped the canoe against a mossy log for later use, before climbing up the path back to her porch.
Jasper couldn’t believe that all this time, she lived just there within arm’s reach. She was so close and yet so far.
To his surprise, she returned the very next day with her friend Claudie, who looked absolutely miserable.
-----
“Isn’t this beautiful?” I breathed cheerfully.
Dragging her feet behind me, Claudie mumbled an indifferent “It’s whatever” and followed me, hands stuffed in her pockets, to the edge of the bay scattered with multihued pebbles. Her dark eyes stubbornly fought back tears and reflected the grey skies. Meanwhile, I tumbled the slippery canoe upright and pulled its nose halfway into the water. The day before I had found the old canoe abandoned in the back of my property underneath a layer of dead leaves, and had learned how to put it to use.
“Here, you get in first.”
Claudie looked at the rickety vessel wearily but climbed in anyway. With all my strength I pushed the canoe forward until it began to drift on its own. I quickly jumped in and took up the oars while my friend hugged her knees. So in the middle of the islet we floated, listening only to the gentle slapping of water against the sides of the canoe, the call of the seagulls above, and the ghostly whistling of the wind through the giant pines. The world was quiet. Without the usual distractions of her busy life, Claudie was left to listen to the screams in her head and a sob escaped from deep in her chest…
------
Jasper could feel - even from the distance of his balcony - a faint taste of the pain in that girl’s heart, and his expression softened in sympathy. Ever since he had begun working directly with people, he had realized that these students, despite all the privilege and wealth at their disposal, still hurt in very significant ways. What’s more, in many cases, they had never been taught to rise above those emotions. And yet Aurelia shifted next to her friend and gave her exactly what she needed - the warmth of a patient embrace and a shoulder to absorb the tears, a chance to not have to be strong for once.
Eventually Claudie straightened back up somehow lighter, and Aurelia wiped her damp cheeks with a thumb. They each took an oar. Failing to row in unison, they began to spin in lazy circles unable to make any progress towards land. Their silly, innocent laughter - a note that had not been heard in that space in a long time - rang out and echoed through the woods. From up above, a warmed smile also tweaked at the corners of Jasper’s pale mouth.
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My Californian wardrobe was not equipped to deal with the Washingtonian autumn. One morning a sudden frost had settled over the entire town. I took one step out of the house and shivered. The chill suddenly triggered an idea; I dashed to the storage room where we had piled miscellaneous belongings that did not blend with our new home, and rummaging through the back, I found exactly what I was looking for - a box of Abigail’s old clothes. Buried at the bottom was a supple black leather jacket. A hint of tobacco smoke still lingered in the lining. One arm at a time, I slipped on the fluid garment and pulled it close. It finally fit my shoulders.
Before I made it out the door, a small angry gasp stopped me in my tracks.
“Aurelia, WHAT are you wearing?” my mother hissed, appearing at the top of the stairs. Dressed in a sleek pantsuit that meant business, she was on her way out as well.
Dread filled my stomach, for her thoughts read clear in her frantic worry lines. “I wanted to--”
“Take that off immediately!”
“Mom…”
“You are NOT wearing your sister’s things, Aurelia! Are you trying to be like her now?”
In agitation she darted down the steps and tugged at the sleeves. No matter how much I protested, she wrenched the jacket off of my shoulders. It felt like a slap in the face. I shivered wretchedly. My mother disappeared and soon returned with the box that I had unearthed, and my stomach dropped in dread. I tried to reclaim it but she yanked it away.
Trying to sound composed she shrilly declared, without looking me in the eye even once, “I’m going to drop these off for donations. Someone else will make use of them.”
“You can’t…!”
“I’m going to be late for the fundraiser breakfast. You should head out to school now, too.”
I did not register the pitiful, hoarse cries that came from my own throat as I begged my mother to reconsider, to no avail, all the way down to the driveway. The asphalt pricked at my bare feet and I watched in despair as she zoomed down the lane with another piece of my sister’s memories.
I turned back in the house, shaking from the inside out, and ran.
-----
That morning Jasper stepped forth onto his deck to monitor the weather - he determined that it’d be best to bring a hooded jacket to school. His eyes traveled down from the smoky grey skies to the clattering noise below, and he frowned when he spotted his golden-haired neighbor. Aurelia was dragging her canoe out onto the water again. Was she skipping class?
Like whispers, Jasper’s skin detected the eddies of dark clouds shifting above. The first drop of rain fell on his brow and in a moment the downpour set whole islet was bouncing with ripples. And yet, Aurelia did not retreat. He saw her bury her face in her hands and sink to her knees. Chest tugging in alarm, Jasper darted to grab the motor boat he hardly used, and ignoring the heavy shower, set off straight for Aurelia.
She raised her head at the raucous noise headed in her direction and Jasper was acknowledged by a startled flicker in her watering crystal eyes that made him catch his breath. The dampness in her cheeks, which she did not try to wipe away, quickly blended with the droplets from above, and her wavy hair began to despondently hang around her face like seaweed. The white metal vessel skimmed the surface and slid next to her small canoe. Jasper turned off the engine.
“W-what are you doing here…?” Aurelia gawked weakly.
“That’s what I should be asking you!” he exclaimed over the downpour. “Go back inside, this isn’t the type of rain to defy.”
She shook her head miserably.
“Please, Aurelia, you’re going to catch a cold. I’m not leaving unless you do too. I don’t care if I get soaked.”
She wavered.
Keeping his tone firm, but patient and smooth like honey, he urged, “Then at least get in here instead. It seems you’ve sprung a leak.”
Indeed, nearly two inches of water had already accumulated at the bottom of the old canoe. Aurelia timidly responded to Jasper’s gentleness. The vessel rocked precariously as she stood up. She took his outstretched hand and leaned over the edge, and before she could slip overboard, his long arm caught her by the waist just in time to lightly hoist her into the sturdier boat. The canoe flipped over to its hollow side and slowly bobbed away.
Aurelia steadied her legs and Jasper hastily, respectfully, let go of his grip. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and squinted against the rain. In awkwardness they sat across from each other with their knees almost knocking in the cramped space, stared out in opposite directions, and let themselves get doused.
It was obvious that she was not okay, so Jasper chose his words carefully.
“What happened?”
“… My mom threw away my sister’s old clothes.”
He tarried, not quite understanding the situation. “And… I assume those were important to you?”
“Those were some of the last pieces I had of her.” she whispered quiveringly.
At this inference Jasper’s head abruptly turned.
“It’s been a year, but it still doesn’t feel real sometimes, that she’s gone.” Aurelia continued hoarsely. “We - we just never talk about it at home, like it’s a dirty little secret.”
Aurelia turned in response to Jasper’s silence. Usually people always donned a guilty expression for having brought up the painful subject, or a frightened, buttoned up face at not wanting to dig a deeper hole for themselves. Instead, Jasper’s soft, perceptive eyes did not waver from hers.
“I’m very sorry for your loss. It’s especially difficult to lose a loved one at a young age.” he murmured with an astonishing sincerity, as if he too had had that experience.
In the midst of the bleakness, a grateful beam broke through Aurelia’s grief. Perhaps that was all that she’d needed - for someone to tell her that it was okay to hurt.
Jasper sighed, relieved that she was at least a little better. “I don’t want to be rude but - we’re getting really wet. Can we go now?”
She nodded apologetically. “Sure, let’s go. I feel bad… This is the second time you’ve stayed out in the rain because of me.”
Jasper revved the engine and smirked. That had been the second time that they’d first met. “I remember.”
As they set off towards Aurelia’s side of the shore Jasper carefully continued, “I might not be able to get your sister’s belongings back, but I can at least try and fix your canoe.”
She perked up a little. “Really? Do you know how?”
“I’ve dabbled in carpentry in the past.”
“That’d be great, thank you!”
The motor boat brought them to land in no time. Engrained with old gentlemanly habits, Jasper leapt out first and lent her his hand once more to alight. Aurelia gave him an amused but open look and let him help her off.
“By the way - you didn’t answer my question. What were you doing out there?”
“… I live on the other side of the water.” he gulped, pointing to the lone structure barely peeking out through the foliage.
“That house? The one that always has its lights on at night?”
He blinked, taken aback. “When were you awake so late to see that?”
“You should save some energy. Who needs lights on at three AM?”
Jasper chuckled and sobered up. She had no idea who, or rather what, he really was and the reason why he never actually slept.
“Anyways, we should err - dry off and head to school. We’re already very late.”
As the young man gracefully jumped back on the boat and started it forward, Aurelia piped up bravely, “Thank you… Jasper.”
Despite himself, he brightened at the sound of his name. “What for?”
She shrugged sweetly. “For listening.”
--------
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Kimberley Fairfax gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles blanched. While the rain obscured the windshield, she stared down at the cardboard box in the passenger’s seat and only saw the precious fingerprint left behind of her child. She braced herself, pulled out the package from the car, and marched it up to the loading dock where all sorts of odds-and-ends had been piled up for donations. An attendant approached.
“Morning! Are you dropping some things off? I can take that box from you.”
“Ah, yes, thanks.” The woman’s carefully curled lashes beat apprehensively as the parcel was lifted out of her arms and carried off towards the garage of objects worn and forgotten. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered Aurelia’s earlier distress when she had taken it away, and suddenly a cry arose from the most instinctive part of her. “Excuse me…!”
-------
Once I had dried my hair and donned a fresh uniform I grabbed my shoes to unexpectedly see my mother heading back in through the door.
“Sweetie, why are you still here?”
Immediately, I locked onto the now-soggy package she slowly set down on the rug. A grand relief overcame me; I flew down the stairs and wrapped my arms around my mother’s neck.
“You brought it back…!”
“I’m sure Abigail would have eventually let you borrow it, anyway.” she murmured softly. As if handling delicate silk, she withdrew the leather jacket and dressed me for the school day as she used to when I was little. Proudly and tearfully she held me at arm’s length and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “It fits you perfectly, dear.”
I made a subtle, tardy entrance into the Academy with straight shoulders and head held high. First period had just ended and students streamed out of the classrooms on all sides like clockwork. Claudie and Rob found me at my locker amidst the shuffle.
“Did you just get here?” Claudie inquired, puzzled.
“Tsk tsk skipping Art, hmm? And looking the rebellious part, too.” Rob teased.
There seemed to be an audible pause as the crowded hallway briefly parted and made way for Jasper, who was carrying two large, blank canvases with ease. One flickering glance in my direction sent my heart pounding as what might have been an approving smirk flashed across his dignified features.
He glided right by and without eye contact, commented mildly, “Cool jacket,” without skipping a beat in his step.
I wasn’t the only one amazed. Claudie stared at me with a wide open mouth at what just happened.
“O-M-G,” Robbie imitated obnoxiously, “Mr. Hale is so hot I could just die!”
Ignoring him, Claudie muttered in shock, “Mr. Hale just complimented you! He never…!”
“Ooh look, she’s blushing~!”
-------
Jasper hurried into the art studio and immediately apologized to Mr. Miles.
“So sorry I skipped out on you without notice this morning.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know your work ethic; it must have been urgent.” Mr. Miles murmured, noticing the refreshing energy that emitted from Jasper’s frame. “May I ask what happened?”
As if he hardly believed himself, he breathed, “Remember what you told me the other day? I guess - I guess I let life get out of control a bit.”
The older man’s eyes crinkled happily. It was about time that Jasper took advantage of his precious time and lived a little.