It's rough saying "I forgive you" when nobody said "I'm sorry." And the what-would-Jesus-Christ-do line is getting kind of boring. The angel on my shoulder shuts her mouth when my heart's turned black and blue. So you don't have to pretend to care, and I don't have to pretend to believe you.

Can't bring myself to picture you ( Read more... )

I'm a little shook up, and a little bit lost. Wanna be a bad girl, but without the cost. Heart beats like I'm trying to outrun a beast. While I'm trembling in a corner, trying not to fall asleep. My babe ain't here, wondering if he ever was. And my friend count is diminishing in sync with the buzz. Cocaine, cocaine, can't do a thing for me. Chest ( Read more... )

I am so goddamn tired. I spent the majority of my Lit Analysis class weaving in and out of consciousness and trying to blind myself by staring into the light just as a way to stay awake. I looked back down at my book and remember thinking “this would be a lot easier to read if the words weren’t moving” before briefly blacking out. My stomach aches ( Read more... )

Self-deprecation is the new black.

Leather, leather
Glitter, glitter
I've got a wolf followin' me home.

Snakes squirming 'round in my tummy trying to fuck me up, trying to, trying to make me cry. You ain't my papa, you ain't no one. I'll tear you out from my insides if it means I'll have some fun. So blood gushes from my tummy, trying to fuck me up, trying to, trying to make me cry. You ain't my momma, you ain't my girl. I'll stitch myself back up ( Read more... )

•showering more often
•doing my homework at a reasonable time
•going to bed vaguely early
•eating better
•getting off my ass for at least a little while
•writing more

take it one day at a time, love.

Tearing through skin, through fat, through muscle, I claw myself open and my head throws itself back! I cackle a cackle that's halfway to a scream, and I sit in the warm mess and feel myself bleed. "Good," my mind tells me "Now go to sleep." So I shut my eyes and lie down in the red, and sob a thick sob and think about what you said.

Tripping me, gripping me, pulling me down: by my ankle, my leg, my hips, my crown. Dragged through the dirt, and the rain, and the shit--momentous momentum shakes you 'til you quit. You never see genius crawl out of the wall, you never feel it 'til you're grabbed and you fall. Fuck! I'm gone. I'm lost. I'm blind. Yes! I see--and I needn't my eyes.