LJ Idol Season 10, Week 16: Thunderclap

[my_name_is_jenn]

When you grow up in the middle of a storm, you eventually stop noticing that it's storming

Comments

[rayaso]

What awful behavior! It must have been a very difficult childhood. The timing of your parents' announcement doesn't surprise me, unfortunately. Parents who behave that way aren't going to give a thought about Christmas and Santa.

[my_name_is_jenn]

My suspicion is, and my mother has alluded to this being the case, that once she told my father she wanted him out, he didn't give her much choice. Either we were going to sit down as a family that day and talk about it, or he was just going to leave.

I don't think the timing was considered at all though, by either party.

[shadowwolf13]

I was insistent that we not tell my step daughter close to any sort of holiday when her father and I decided to divorce. :/ I'm sorry it was such a hard childhood for you. At least cookies are still awesome. :)

[my_name_is_jenn]

I think you made the right call. It's tough enough on a kid to know their parents are separating (though I totally understand it's necessary sometimes). Don't make it worse by doing it before a holiday, birthday, etc.

Cookies ARE awesome. :)

[alycewilson]

What a terrible time to tell you! I guess the good thing about your sister seeing everything as sunny is that she doesn't remember the negatives.

[my_name_is_jenn]

Yeah, I don't really think they thought it through.

I'm glad she doesn't remember the negatives, but in some ways, I wish she remembered at least some of them so the divorce didn't come as such a shock to her. She had absolutely no idea anything was even remotely wrong. But I am happy she remembers dance parties instead of screaming matches.

[alycewilson]

Is there a big difference in your ages? Or is it just that she was shielded from some of it. Our parents didn't have screaming matches, but it was obvious for a long time that something wasn't right between them. I felt bad that I went off to college so soon after our parents separated and my sister -- 7 years younger -- had to be at home during that time of upheaval. But she had my brother to look out for her. I don't know about you, but as an older sister, I've always felt like a second mom to my sister and would do anything to shield her or protect her feelings.

But as adults, it's nice to be able to talk about it. You're right. It would be nice if your sister grasped more of it at the time.

[my_name_is_jenn]

We're 7.5 years apart. She was in fourth grade when I graduated high school, so third grade when my parents divorced. I did the same as you - took off after high school. I went to AmeriCorps right after high school and then straight to college. I felt bad, but I had to get away to take care of myself.

Sixteen years later, I'm still trying to protect her. :)

[marlawentmad]

This is such a powerful story.

[my_name_is_jenn]

Thank you.

[bewize]

I am so sorry that happened around a holiday. You never really forget it either.

But, it sounds like ultimately it was for the best for all concerned.

[my_name_is_jenn]

I first learned the meaning of the word divorce in first grade when one of my classmates' parents got divorced. I thought it was the best idea ever and ran home to ask my parents if they could get divorced, too.

No, it wasn't so I could have two houses and twice the toys.

So yes, it was the best for all concerned. ;)

[bewize]

This sounds so much like my own childhood. My parents should have split years before they did - and I remember telling my mother that at a young age.

[my_name_is_jenn]

You know it's bad when the kids are asking the parents to separate.