I am dissolving in anguish tonight. If only I could tear my feeble hands and mind away from fucking facebook, FUCK I hate this world that we live in! I'm am so tired of being upset about this! Yes. I'm upset. My unadulterated bliss has been shattered. Maybe it's the food I had today that's shocking my system. Perhaps the alcohol I consumed is ( Read more... )

I have made it. I have made it this far. I have made it through him and what he did. I have made it through the semester and to show for myself I have three As and a B+. A pat on the back. I have made it through the torment of another. He is soon to exist only in ash--a terrifying double-meaning, but how true it is. I have made it through two ( Read more... )

Oh, god.. How do such sounds come out of such a silent woman? And another lies next to me, sliding in out and of sleep and she does not hear. But are we women, really? For when do we become women from girls and how do you quantify? Woman seems like such a myth and girls are what I know, but at some point we become what we are meant to be. Is it ( Read more... )

There are three sentiments which make up this abysmal day on the lonely upper east.

1. Bliss. Sun-soaked, sugar-coated bliss with a cyanide tablet baked right into the center. And because I still hunger for that bliss I am a
2. stupid stupid STUPID girl. I can almost get past the lies and think that I can ride this on for a while, but then he ( Read more... )

I can't say too much here anymore. Not since the last time. This connection is not secure ( Read more... )

July 30th means that it's twenty-nine days until school begins and I did nothing this summer. I didn't see all those people I meant to see. I didn't play in the park or stroll along the boardwalk. We still don't have a couch or a new comforter. I just worked and worked and worked. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I stayed in bed and watched movies and ( Read more... )

I got a wisdom tooth out on Friday and haven't really left the house. So, Johnny comes over after work yesterday and I'm ready to stop stewing in my own sweat and get out. Of course, all Johnny has to wear is his work pants and undershirt. He decides to go to shopping to buy himself a new outfit instead of going all the way back to Long Island to ( Read more... )

Everything is different! This past month couldn't have been more ridiculous! Who am I anymore? Where am I ( Read more... )

I spent a quiet hour or so unpacking and ambling about the apartment. The gravity of being back in the city had not yet been felt on my shoulders, although I had settled back quite casually into my routine: Monotonous job, subways, cheap beer, chain-smoking, dirty text messages. The apartment looked exactly the same except for the obese pine tree ( Read more... )

A gasp! There she is! Oh, you've outdone yourself this evening. You really do look incredible. This sky, these colors, the lights, and long, lovely Lexington Avenue stretching out and disappearing into the concrete forest. My childishly close face breathes a cloud onto the windowpane and I draw a heart-shaped viewer for my batting eye. A picture, ( Read more... )