Chapter One

[mybonesareyours]

“This is the way you left me, I’m not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending. This is the way that we love, like its forever. Then live the rest of our lives, but not together.”

MIKA’s song came on the radio in my car as I was shuffling through play lists I had made. I never really thought that this song would mean so much to me. I

Comments

hiii

[trueteleiophile]

Saw your post about this on professorfetish. And to give real critique, I'd say the mode of this chapter is too much "tell" and not enough "show". It seems a lot like a formal introduction or explanation, like "Hi, this is my story. This is who/what it's about. This is the setting. This is the premise. etc." 98% of the time this kind of introduction/explanation is unnecessary and even detrimental to the story, because readers want to be immersed into the story right at once, and find the details as they go along, not be presented with an explanation of the premise and then told later how exactly it unfolds. You really could start in the mode where chapter two is, where the main character is at her first "real" day of class in South America, and give the details as to what she's doing there as you go along in that chapter. But don't just copy and paste chapters one and two together - instead, "show" the readers why she's in South America by the things she does during her day - studying Spanish, talking with her friend Shannon about