I've been feeling bored for the past few of days ( Read more... )

     I have constant writer's block.
This annoys me. A lot.
There are things I need to start doing again, one of them is work, the other; learn.
I'm spending this whole day alone, for some reflection.
Later, I'm going to pick up some Valerian Root. I need to start sleeping.

I still don't get why things happen the way they do. I guess this is what I get for being able to communicate with her, now she's able to tell me things I dont want to hear.
Other than that< MY FUCKING KEYBOARD JUST GLITCHED OUT OR SOMETHING< SO MY SHIT"S ALL MESED FOR NOW> I"LL FINISH AFTER I FIX THIZ SHIT ( Read more... )

Even though we aren't supposed to be  kissing each other, I still like to slip at least one in there before she has to go.
I know she's honest when she says that she has a hard time saying "no" to me.
Wait till she finds out how easy it is to scream "Yes".
I dont mean to sound like an ass, but it's true, she just doesn't know  yet.

I fear for the path ahead, because if it's not what I was looking for, I will tear it out and shred it to pieces.
Is this going where I'd hoped? I still have no idea.
I need something for hte pain in my back & chest.

We biked over to get chinese food today, and I carried her high heels on my handle bars.

Something happened tonight, and I experienced what some might call ego-death. This has never happened before. I don't know how I can explain.
But no, I didn't take acid.

Today, I lost a job, and got one six minutes later.

My insight for tonight is:

Every step should be a step forward.
&
It is a great thing; to analyze one's unconscious mind, to be able to fully  develop one's self  knowledge.

I'm begenning to learn alot about how I developed as a child, really understanding and recalling the whole situation of how I learned different and separate thought processes.

I'm ( Read more... )

I'm going to take 1500mg of Yohimbe bark everyday for a month, and not sleep at all. I have enough vicodin to sedate my body into a sleepless haze.  I don't want to think about all of this. I dont want you to talk like that, I dont want this to get to me.
I hope this kills me.

So it turns out that every situation in my life has to end up being one of those situations that you must know everything to know anything.
There are no ordinary moments.
Today was away too up and down for me. 
At least I'm learning.