he will always be the most beautiful person i have ever cared about.i just can't do it anymore. everytime we get close. my heart breaks again, not because of the hurt he put me through, but of the hurt i am puting someone else through. i love him too much.
i am so sorry.

i'm not fucking ok. what happens when you think you are going crazy? when you know that you are going crazy. i'm not ok.

you call me unreliable, irresponsible, unmotivated. if you only knew how responsible i really am. if you had any idea what it was really like... how perfect it really was, you would get it. for almost four years, it was my life. like a roller coaster ride that just never ended. and i loved it. I FUCKING LOVED IT. i could have stayed on that roller ( Read more... )

when does it cross the line from love to obsession, or are they one in the same? i really don't think that you can love someone without one way or another being obsessed with them.-and why do people think that being obsessed is always a bad thing?- think about it... how many times a day do you think about the person you love? or even care about for ( Read more... )

so i am suppose to write in here to vent my feelings... what if i can't let them out, it sucks. coke. logical reasons: none. ways to get it: sam, anton, B, josh, just go to reno. spange. pawn... what? cds. jewelery, cd player... rockstar. I'M A FUCKING ROCKSTAR. i feel beautiful. felt. i meant felt. ha ha... you will never know.

never mind... i don't want to talk about it.

i think i might give people too much credit, too many chances, too much freedom to use me. i love being peoples friends, and being there for them no matter what. but sometimes... it just sucks to always be the person that people come to. i know i shouldn't be complaining, because what an honor it is to know that people trust me enough to tell me ( Read more... )

thump. thump. thump.
no more thumps.
its broken.
gone.
silence.
sweet silence...
sigh

sometimes i think that all the hurt and agony i am going through is not worth it... i don't know what i am saying. FUCK! i want to just give up and give in to it. its so close to me. but i can't and i won't. i feel so alone. i am so alone. what do i do?