(no subject)
Ed and Hank, 2nd update
It's a sign of the times... (part 1)
The link to part 2 is at the end of this part.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
It's a sign of the times... (part 1)
“Jeez, Ed... Cain’t believe we cain’t go ta Chicago again.”
“Shit. Seems like I ain't never gonna see Iris. Know she cain’t help tha’ dumbass job a hers. Two people quittin' on 'em withou' no notice so's Iris is havin' ta work late every nigh'. Ain't a good place ta work. Said as soon as she gets a chance she’s gonna start lookin’ fer ‘nother job… said life’s too short ta keep jumpin' through them hoops they got her jumpin’ through."
"How ‘bout we try ‘n go later this summer now... when things slow down some here?”
“Guess we'll have ta. 'Lessen she could come here when things settle down fer her."
"Tell ya... I sure as hell ain’t mentionin’ it in our story no more… least-wise not ‘til we've gone ‘n come back. Otherwise ain't no one gonna believe nothin' I say no more. ‘N at this point I’ll believe tha’ we’re goin’ only when I’m actually sittin’ on Iris’ couch talkin' ta her."
"Feel the same way."
"Hey… ‘s long as were all packed why don’ we go campin’ somewheres?”
“Ain’t got clothes packed fer campin’. Have ta re-pack completely.”
“Don’ know wha’ the hell yer talkin’ ‘bout. All ya own are jeans ‘n shirts ‘n t-shirts… period.”
“Yeah… but I got my best jeans packed ‘n my best shirts packed. Don’ never take my best stuff campin’.”
“Figure ya coulda been re-packed in the time we been talkin’ ‘bout it.”
“Maybe.”
“C’mon, Ed. ‘M goin’ a l’il stir crazy here… ‘Especially now with tha’ trip cancelled fer the second time. ‘N the weather’s s’posed ta be real nice ‘round here… Bill’s already gonna watch the place…”
“Ya ain’t gonna make me go hikin’ like you ‘n Iris did on them trips before, are ya? No self-respectin' cowboy goes hikin'.”
“Nah… jus’ a little meanderin’ maybe. Nothin’ like wha’ Iris had us doin’.”
“Yeah… ‘fore ya know it tha’ meanderin’ turns inta some kinda death march.”
“Tha’ weren't Iris' fault. She didn' know tha' trail were gonna be deep sand all the way. 'N it weren't s'posed ta be tha' hot. Won’ be takin’ ya on nothin’ like tha’ again.”
“Musta been more 'n a hundred degrees out there tha' day. In the shade. 'N there weren't no shade."
"Promise... won' be tha' hot neither."
“Too early ta go ta the mountains… Where’d ya have in mind?”
“Dunno… plenty a places ta go… but I’d wanna stay 'way from the more well-known spots… lots a them spring breakers ‘round.”
“Why the hell don’ they jus’ stick ta the beaches like they used ta?”
"'Fraid this state's been discovered. Been tha' way fer a while now. Jus' gonna get worse. But... how ‘bout we head over ta the southeastern part a the state… Ain’t as many people go there.”
“Tha’s ‘cause ya cain’t get there from here.”
“Yeah ya can. First we’s jus’ gotta drive ta somewheres where ya can get there from. Then we head there.”
“Well… maybe... Wha’s the weather s’posed ta be? Wha’ kinda jacket should I take?”
“I dunno… could be anywheres from down ta freezin’ at night up ta ‘bout 80 degrees durin’ the day.”
“Shit. ‘M too old fer tha’ kinda temperature fluctuation… ’s liable ta kill me.”
“Ain’t gonna kill ya, dumbass. But I migh' if'n I don' get outta here fer a while.”
Ed and Hank go camping
"Ya ready, Ed?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Looks like them crazy neighbors are feudin' again."
"Regular Hatfields 'n McCoys."
"Prob'bly a good time ta be gettin' outta here fer a l'il while."
"Better stop 'n get some gas."
"Hey... ain't tha' one a them 'Hatfield' fellas?"
"Yep... 'n it looks like he's fixin' ta run amok with his tractor again."
"'Please see cashier fer details'?
Tha' sure seems like a lotta responsibility fer a minimum wage job."
"Hey Ed, ya wan' somethin' ta read?"
"Nah... Got tha' last book Iris sent me."
"But this one here says it's got Jesus givin' a guided tour a heaven... with pictures.
Don' ya wanna see them pictures?"
"If'n I ain't goin', I sure as hell don' wanna see wha' I'm missin'."
"But what if'n ya are goin'?"
"Then I don' see no point in spoilin' the s'prise."
"Pull over here Hank."
"Looks like they're closed, Ed."
"Damn."
"Sorry, Ed... Looks like they're closed too."
"Jus' ain't ma day."
"Ain't seen tha' before, Hank. Everytime we drive this way
seems like there's somethin' new tha's been built out here where it don' belong."
"Yep. 'N now it looks like they took all the wildlife
'n killed 'em 'n stuffed 'em 'n put 'em in a wildlife museum.
Probab'ly chargin' folks a lot more'n a dollar 'n a half jus' ta see 'em."
"Shit..."
"'N don' it always seem ta go tha' folks don' never know wha' they got 'til it's gone?"
"Tha's fer damn sure."
"Yep. They jus' keep pavin' paradise ta put up more parkin' lots."
"'N housin' developments 'n lots a other crap too."
"Jus' hope no big yellow taxi ever comes ta take 'way my old man."
"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout Hank?"
"Nevermind. Just an old song. Love ya, dumbass.
'Oooh... bop,bop,bop,bop'..."
"Hey, Ed there's yer fav'rite sign."
"Ain't ma fav'rite sign. Hate all them billboards muckin' up the views.
I jus' like wha' it means is comin' up.
Wide open spaces.
'N no more dumbass billboards. Least-wise fer a while."
Ed lost that shirt bet so he generally ain't driving,
but seeing as they're on vacation, he gets equal time behind the wheel.
When Ed's driving he won't stop at the scenic viewpoints.
So Hank takes pictures while they drive.
"Ya got a one-track mind, dontcha Hank?"
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."
"Hey, Ed... Tha' sign remind ya a somethin'?"
"Maybe."
"Better be careful, Ed."
"Why? Wha's wrong?"
"Sign on the rear-view says objects in the mirror are closer than they appears ta be.
'N I think tha' one particular object migh' be gainin' on ya."
"Yep... a one-track mind..."
And when Hank drives,
Ed sometimes takes pictures too.
But Ed isn't as good at taking pictures from a moving vehicle,
so Hank slows way down for him.
When he can.
But sometimes he can't.
"Ya wan' me ta walk where now?"
"Jus' over ta tha' cliff. Stretch our legs a l'il."
"Musta passed a hundred diff'rent cliffs ta day. Wha' the hell is so special 'bout tha' one? Looks awful sandy too. Hate sand. This gonna be 'nother one a them death marches?"
"No. It ain't gonna be 'nother death march. Ain't tha' far... C'mon, Ed... coulda been halfway there already."
"Mighta known... More dick-shaped rocks. Swear ya've drug me ta every dick-shaped rock this side a the Missouri River. Cain't hardly believe ya found even more."
"Jus' like interestin' lookin' rocks. 'N ya'd be s'prised jus' how many is out there."
"Think yer nuts Hank. No pun intended."
"These are kinda disappointin' though. Ain't the nicest we ever seen. Remember some a them other rocks? Lotta them rocks were a lot nicer."
"I guess... Most a them were gen'rally bigger anyways... if'n tha's important ta ya."
Just a few photos from Hank's big ol' collection of pictures of interestin' rocks:
"Guess we better get goin'... 'S later than I thought."
"This whole campin' trip gonna be 'bout dick-shaped rocks?"
"Nope."
"Believe tha' when I see it."
"Ain't got nothin' planned anyways. Never know wha' we migh' stumble 'cross though."
"Shadows are gettin' awful long... looks like we ain't gonna make it there 'fore dark."
"'N when it gets dark here, it gets awful dark."
"Better jus' take a spot in the campground. Be a lot easier. Too dark ta go lookin' fer one a them primitive spots."
"Shit... Hank. Don' wanna stay in a regular campground. Too many people. Ya migh' as well jus' set up camp in a Wal-Mart parkin' lot."
"Don' think it's no regular campground... 's real small... not more'n 15 sites."
"If'n it's tha' small 's prob'bly full-up."
"Well... there's the sign fer it 'n it don' say it's full. Prob'bly ain't as busy 'cause it's Sunday."
"Okay... but we're gonna move tomorrow."
"Don' understand ya Ed... While ago ya outed us... 'n Bill ta boot... ta them neighbors 'n now ya don' even wanna stay in a campground with me?"
"Jus' don' like bein' 'round so many folks. Too noisy. Kids yellin'. Doors slammin' all the time. Dogs barkin'."
"Seems awful quiet righ' now. How 'bout this site? Looks like it ain't near no one else. Last one 'fore the road loops back."
"Does seem purty big... 'n more off by itself. Wonder why ain't no one else in it? Maybe there's somethin' wrong with it."
"Ain't nothin' wrong with it. Think maybe them other sites got a view or somethin' 'n this one don'. Folks always take the sites with a view first, even if'n it means bein' righ' on top a someone else."
"Ya wan' me ta build a fire?"
"Nah. Don' seem too cold righ' now. 'Sides... stars are comin' out... lookit 'em all... a fire would jus' blot out our view of 'em."
“Yeah... sure do like all them stars. Cain’t see tha’ many even at the ranch. Too much light from town interferin’.”
"C'mere Ed."
"Wait a sec... lemme grab a couple a beers 'n a blanket ta spread by tha' ol' log over there."
"Bring two blankets... in case it starts ta get cold."
...
......
.........
"Ya dozin' off there Ed?"
"Nope. Jus' starin' up at them stars."
“Sure is amazin’, ain't it?"
"Yep."
"Gotta tell ya, Ed... closest I ever come ta believin’ in anythin'... 'sides you... is when I look up at all them stars.”
“Me too, Hank... 'N I believe there's 'nother beer in tha' cooler with my name on it.”
“C'mon, Ed... don’ lookin’ up at them stars make ya think a nothin' 'sides beer? Wouldn' it be real nice if'n there really were some kinda heaven or somethin' where we could spend eternity ta gether?”
"Eternity, huh?"
"Yep. Told ya a while back forever ain't near enough."
"Said it before 'n I'll say it again, ain't nothin' never 'nough fer ya."
"Eternity migh' be though. Bet it's a whole lot longer 'n forever."
"Yep. Imagine eternity's one helluva long time. Guess maybe even we'd get tired a each other by the time eternity ends."
"Don' think eternity is s'posed ta end. Think tha's the whole point ta it. So... ya think we'd get tired a each other, uh?"
"Maybe. Neverendin' time's gotta be a damn long time."
"'N xactly how long ya figure it'd take ya ta get sick 'n tired a me, if'n we were runnin' 'round in eternity ta gether?"
"Prob'bly ain't got no call ta run anywheres in eternity. 'Xpect there's plenty a time ta get wherevers ya migh' be goin'."
"Okay, okay... if'n we were saunterin' 'round eternity ta gether how long do ya figure 'fore yer tired a me?"
"I dunno... Lemme think... Prob'bly won't be able ta... you know... d'ya think?"
"Wha'?"
"Ya know what I mean. In eternity."
"What?"
"Do it... d'ya think we'd still be able ta do it?"
"Do what?"
"Ya know damn well what 'm referrin' ta."
"Jus' say it."
"I can say it."
"Then say it."
"Maybe I jus' don' wanna say it. 'Sides... now it'd be all weird if'n I said it."
"Maybe I jus' won wanna do it 'lessen ya say it."
"Won' wanna do wha'?"
"Much a anythin'."
"Yeah... tha'd be a real cold day in hell."
"Thought we were talkin' 'bout heaven here."
"We are. Ya won' answer ma question 'bout if'n ya think we could still do it in eternity."
"Do wha'?"
"Think 'm gettin' a l'il tired a you righ' now."
"Ya are, huh? Then I guess ya got no interest in doin' it?"
"I didn' say tha'."
"So... ya wanna do it?"
"Yeah... I wanna do it."
"Do what?"
"This."
...
......
"Okay... I think I know whatcha mean now."
.........
............
...............
"Damn, Hank... Think ya sent me inta orbit there."
"'M righ there with ya, Ed. Feel like 'm up there with all them stars."
"All them stars... Damn... Think there's maybe even more 'n before. Jus' lookit 'em all..."
"Yeah... D'ya ever wonder if'n someone migh' be out there lookin' back at us?"
"All's I know is if'n someone is lookin' at us from up there righ' now they'd sure be gettin' an eye-full."
"Guess we'd better hope they're over 18."
"Maybe we better pull up tha' blanket."
"'Don' ya think it's a l'il late fer tha'?"
"Not if'n someone's jus' tunin' in."
...
......
.........
"Okay... lemme see..."
"Wha'?"
"Still tryin' ta work out an answer ta tha' question a yers from before... Jus' gotta figure in how irritatin' you can be sometimes... 'Course tha' gets offset some by how good lookin' ya are... ya know 'm purty shallow tha' way... So... oops... wait a minute... almos' forgot ta take inta account them leap years... Okay. Closest I can figure it... I'd get sick 'n tired a bein' with ya in eternity sometime 'round 'bout... Never. Never at 'bout 4:20 in the afternoon."
"4:20, huh?"
"Well... give or take a couple a minutes... if'n my figurin' was off some."
"Tha' with or withou' doin' it?"
"Either. Tha's where the give or take a couple a minutes figures in."
"Now... all's we gotta do is wait 'n see if'n there's an eternity out there somewheres..."
"Ain't makin' no bets on it, Hank. 'N ain't in no kinda rush ta find out."
"Me neither, Ed. Me neither."
...
......
"Hey... didya see tha' shootin' star, Ed?"
"Yep. Made a wish 'n everythin'."
"Never took ya fer the wishin' type."
"Ain't. Guess it were really more of a complaint. Sure wish we had some pie. Could really go fer a piece righ' 'bout now."
"Anytime ya wouldn' go fer a piece a pie?"
"Nope. Do ya s'pose they got pie in eternity?"
"Well... back at tha' gas station... when ya went back ta the truck... I took a quick look at tha' article 'bout tha' tour a heaven 'n..."
"Ain't s'prised..."
"Fella who got the tour said Jesus gave him some a tha' rocky road ice cream after lunch... So I figure if'n they got ice cream up there in heaven 'xpect they got some pie too."
"'Course them people at tha' magazine wouldn' poss'bly be makin' up none a them stories..."
"'Course not... said righ' on the cover... 'The World's Only Reliable Newspaper'."
"Yeah... 'bout as reliable as tha' Fox 'news' is 'Fair and Balanced'."
"Well... 'magine it's a l'il more reliable than tha'. Still... betcha anythin' there's pie 'n heaven."
"Guess there wouldn' be much point in it if'n there weren't..."
"Article didn' mention nothin' 'bout sex though. Think if'n I were tha' fella I mighta thought ta ask 'bout tha'... 'n a few other things. But he were only there temporary-like. Guess he didn' wanna be pushy. Maybe wear out his welcome 'n all."
"Well... like I said... ain't makin' no bets on there even bein' a heaven or eternity or nothin' like tha'. Got everythin' I need 'n want righ' here... 'n 'm jus' gonna hold onta ya as tight as I can fer as long as I poss'bly can."
"There ya go with all them sweet words again... Sure do love ya, Ed. More 'n I got the words ta say."
"Love you too, Hank. Now c'mere a l'il closer so's I can hold ya a l'il tighter."
...
......
"Where ya goin', Ed? Thought ya'd manage ta hold on fer at least a few more minutes."
"Gonna have ta let go a ya fer a l'il while every now 'n again. C'mon, Hank... 'm gettin' cold... ain't used ta the hard ground under me no more... 'n I know fer a fact tha' we got a nice warm sleepin' bag waitin' fer us in the back a tha' there truck... Uh... We do, don' we? Ya did pack the sleepin' bag, didn' ya?"
"Me? I thought you packed it?"
"Shit."
Continued in part 2, which is right here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/25594.html
P.S. Hank was just kidding. He packed the sleeping bag.
It's a sign of the times... (part 1)
The link to part 2 is at the end of this part.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
It's a sign of the times... (part 1)
“Jeez, Ed... Cain’t believe we cain’t go ta Chicago again.”
“Shit. Seems like I ain't never gonna see Iris. Know she cain’t help tha’ dumbass job a hers. Two people quittin' on 'em withou' no notice so's Iris is havin' ta work late every nigh'. Ain't a good place ta work. Said as soon as she gets a chance she’s gonna start lookin’ fer ‘nother job… said life’s too short ta keep jumpin' through them hoops they got her jumpin’ through."
"How ‘bout we try ‘n go later this summer now... when things slow down some here?”
“Guess we'll have ta. 'Lessen she could come here when things settle down fer her."
"Tell ya... I sure as hell ain’t mentionin’ it in our story no more… least-wise not ‘til we've gone ‘n come back. Otherwise ain't no one gonna believe nothin' I say no more. ‘N at this point I’ll believe tha’ we’re goin’ only when I’m actually sittin’ on Iris’ couch talkin' ta her."
"Feel the same way."
"Hey… ‘s long as were all packed why don’ we go campin’ somewheres?”
“Ain’t got clothes packed fer campin’. Have ta re-pack completely.”
“Don’ know wha’ the hell yer talkin’ ‘bout. All ya own are jeans ‘n shirts ‘n t-shirts… period.”
“Yeah… but I got my best jeans packed ‘n my best shirts packed. Don’ never take my best stuff campin’.”
“Figure ya coulda been re-packed in the time we been talkin’ ‘bout it.”
“Maybe.”
“C’mon, Ed. ‘M goin’ a l’il stir crazy here… ‘Especially now with tha’ trip cancelled fer the second time. ‘N the weather’s s’posed ta be real nice ‘round here… Bill’s already gonna watch the place…”
“Ya ain’t gonna make me go hikin’ like you ‘n Iris did on them trips before, are ya? No self-respectin' cowboy goes hikin'.”
“Nah… jus’ a little meanderin’ maybe. Nothin’ like wha’ Iris had us doin’.”
“Yeah… ‘fore ya know it tha’ meanderin’ turns inta some kinda death march.”
“Tha’ weren't Iris' fault. She didn' know tha' trail were gonna be deep sand all the way. 'N it weren't s'posed ta be tha' hot. Won’ be takin’ ya on nothin’ like tha’ again.”
“Musta been more 'n a hundred degrees out there tha' day. In the shade. 'N there weren't no shade."
"Promise... won' be tha' hot neither."
“Too early ta go ta the mountains… Where’d ya have in mind?”
“Dunno… plenty a places ta go… but I’d wanna stay 'way from the more well-known spots… lots a them spring breakers ‘round.”
“Why the hell don’ they jus’ stick ta the beaches like they used ta?”
"'Fraid this state's been discovered. Been tha' way fer a while now. Jus' gonna get worse. But... how ‘bout we head over ta the southeastern part a the state… Ain’t as many people go there.”
“Tha’s ‘cause ya cain’t get there from here.”
“Yeah ya can. First we’s jus’ gotta drive ta somewheres where ya can get there from. Then we head there.”
“Well… maybe... Wha’s the weather s’posed ta be? Wha’ kinda jacket should I take?”
“I dunno… could be anywheres from down ta freezin’ at night up ta ‘bout 80 degrees durin’ the day.”
“Shit. ‘M too old fer tha’ kinda temperature fluctuation… ’s liable ta kill me.”
“Ain’t gonna kill ya, dumbass. But I migh' if'n I don' get outta here fer a while.”
Ed and Hank go camping
"Ya ready, Ed?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Looks like them crazy neighbors are feudin' again."
"Regular Hatfields 'n McCoys."
"Prob'bly a good time ta be gettin' outta here fer a l'il while."
"Better stop 'n get some gas."
"Hey... ain't tha' one a them 'Hatfield' fellas?"
"Yep... 'n it looks like he's fixin' ta run amok with his tractor again."
"'Please see cashier fer details'?
Tha' sure seems like a lotta responsibility fer a minimum wage job."
"Hey Ed, ya wan' somethin' ta read?"
"Nah... Got tha' last book Iris sent me."
"But this one here says it's got Jesus givin' a guided tour a heaven... with pictures.
Don' ya wanna see them pictures?"
"If'n I ain't goin', I sure as hell don' wanna see wha' I'm missin'."
"But what if'n ya are goin'?"
"Then I don' see no point in spoilin' the s'prise."
"Pull over here Hank."
"Looks like they're closed, Ed."
"Damn."
"Sorry, Ed... Looks like they're closed too."
"Jus' ain't ma day."
"Ain't seen tha' before, Hank. Everytime we drive this way
seems like there's somethin' new tha's been built out here where it don' belong."
"Yep. 'N now it looks like they took all the wildlife
'n killed 'em 'n stuffed 'em 'n put 'em in a wildlife museum.
Probab'ly chargin' folks a lot more'n a dollar 'n a half jus' ta see 'em."
"Shit..."
"'N don' it always seem ta go tha' folks don' never know wha' they got 'til it's gone?"
"Tha's fer damn sure."
"Yep. They jus' keep pavin' paradise ta put up more parkin' lots."
"'N housin' developments 'n lots a other crap too."
"Jus' hope no big yellow taxi ever comes ta take 'way my old man."
"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout Hank?"
"Nevermind. Just an old song. Love ya, dumbass.
'Oooh... bop,bop,bop,bop'..."
"Hey, Ed there's yer fav'rite sign."
"Ain't ma fav'rite sign. Hate all them billboards muckin' up the views.
I jus' like wha' it means is comin' up.
Wide open spaces.
'N no more dumbass billboards. Least-wise fer a while."
Ed lost that shirt bet so he generally ain't driving,
but seeing as they're on vacation, he gets equal time behind the wheel.
When Ed's driving he won't stop at the scenic viewpoints.
So Hank takes pictures while they drive.
"Ya got a one-track mind, dontcha Hank?"
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."
"Hey, Ed... Tha' sign remind ya a somethin'?"
"Maybe."
"Better be careful, Ed."
"Why? Wha's wrong?"
"Sign on the rear-view says objects in the mirror are closer than they appears ta be.
'N I think tha' one particular object migh' be gainin' on ya."
"Yep... a one-track mind..."
And when Hank drives,
Ed sometimes takes pictures too.
But Ed isn't as good at taking pictures from a moving vehicle,
so Hank slows way down for him.
When he can.
But sometimes he can't.
"Ya wan' me ta walk where now?"
"Jus' over ta tha' cliff. Stretch our legs a l'il."
"Musta passed a hundred diff'rent cliffs ta day. Wha' the hell is so special 'bout tha' one? Looks awful sandy too. Hate sand. This gonna be 'nother one a them death marches?"
"No. It ain't gonna be 'nother death march. Ain't tha' far... C'mon, Ed... coulda been halfway there already."
"Mighta known... More dick-shaped rocks. Swear ya've drug me ta every dick-shaped rock this side a the Missouri River. Cain't hardly believe ya found even more."
"Jus' like interestin' lookin' rocks. 'N ya'd be s'prised jus' how many is out there."
"Think yer nuts Hank. No pun intended."
"These are kinda disappointin' though. Ain't the nicest we ever seen. Remember some a them other rocks? Lotta them rocks were a lot nicer."
"I guess... Most a them were gen'rally bigger anyways... if'n tha's important ta ya."
Just a few photos from Hank's big ol' collection of pictures of interestin' rocks:
"Guess we better get goin'... 'S later than I thought."
"This whole campin' trip gonna be 'bout dick-shaped rocks?"
"Nope."
"Believe tha' when I see it."
"Ain't got nothin' planned anyways. Never know wha' we migh' stumble 'cross though."
"Shadows are gettin' awful long... looks like we ain't gonna make it there 'fore dark."
"'N when it gets dark here, it gets awful dark."
"Better jus' take a spot in the campground. Be a lot easier. Too dark ta go lookin' fer one a them primitive spots."
"Shit... Hank. Don' wanna stay in a regular campground. Too many people. Ya migh' as well jus' set up camp in a Wal-Mart parkin' lot."
"Don' think it's no regular campground... 's real small... not more'n 15 sites."
"If'n it's tha' small 's prob'bly full-up."
"Well... there's the sign fer it 'n it don' say it's full. Prob'bly ain't as busy 'cause it's Sunday."
"Okay... but we're gonna move tomorrow."
"Don' understand ya Ed... While ago ya outed us... 'n Bill ta boot... ta them neighbors 'n now ya don' even wanna stay in a campground with me?"
"Jus' don' like bein' 'round so many folks. Too noisy. Kids yellin'. Doors slammin' all the time. Dogs barkin'."
"Seems awful quiet righ' now. How 'bout this site? Looks like it ain't near no one else. Last one 'fore the road loops back."
"Does seem purty big... 'n more off by itself. Wonder why ain't no one else in it? Maybe there's somethin' wrong with it."
"Ain't nothin' wrong with it. Think maybe them other sites got a view or somethin' 'n this one don'. Folks always take the sites with a view first, even if'n it means bein' righ' on top a someone else."
"Ya wan' me ta build a fire?"
"Nah. Don' seem too cold righ' now. 'Sides... stars are comin' out... lookit 'em all... a fire would jus' blot out our view of 'em."
“Yeah... sure do like all them stars. Cain’t see tha’ many even at the ranch. Too much light from town interferin’.”
"C'mere Ed."
"Wait a sec... lemme grab a couple a beers 'n a blanket ta spread by tha' ol' log over there."
"Bring two blankets... in case it starts ta get cold."
...
......
.........
"Ya dozin' off there Ed?"
"Nope. Jus' starin' up at them stars."
“Sure is amazin’, ain't it?"
"Yep."
"Gotta tell ya, Ed... closest I ever come ta believin’ in anythin'... 'sides you... is when I look up at all them stars.”
“Me too, Hank... 'N I believe there's 'nother beer in tha' cooler with my name on it.”
“C'mon, Ed... don’ lookin’ up at them stars make ya think a nothin' 'sides beer? Wouldn' it be real nice if'n there really were some kinda heaven or somethin' where we could spend eternity ta gether?”
"Eternity, huh?"
"Yep. Told ya a while back forever ain't near enough."
"Said it before 'n I'll say it again, ain't nothin' never 'nough fer ya."
"Eternity migh' be though. Bet it's a whole lot longer 'n forever."
"Yep. Imagine eternity's one helluva long time. Guess maybe even we'd get tired a each other by the time eternity ends."
"Don' think eternity is s'posed ta end. Think tha's the whole point ta it. So... ya think we'd get tired a each other, uh?"
"Maybe. Neverendin' time's gotta be a damn long time."
"'N xactly how long ya figure it'd take ya ta get sick 'n tired a me, if'n we were runnin' 'round in eternity ta gether?"
"Prob'bly ain't got no call ta run anywheres in eternity. 'Xpect there's plenty a time ta get wherevers ya migh' be goin'."
"Okay, okay... if'n we were saunterin' 'round eternity ta gether how long do ya figure 'fore yer tired a me?"
"I dunno... Lemme think... Prob'bly won't be able ta... you know... d'ya think?"
"Wha'?"
"Ya know what I mean. In eternity."
"What?"
"Do it... d'ya think we'd still be able ta do it?"
"Do what?"
"Ya know damn well what 'm referrin' ta."
"Jus' say it."
"I can say it."
"Then say it."
"Maybe I jus' don' wanna say it. 'Sides... now it'd be all weird if'n I said it."
"Maybe I jus' won wanna do it 'lessen ya say it."
"Won' wanna do wha'?"
"Much a anythin'."
"Yeah... tha'd be a real cold day in hell."
"Thought we were talkin' 'bout heaven here."
"We are. Ya won' answer ma question 'bout if'n ya think we could still do it in eternity."
"Do wha'?"
"Think 'm gettin' a l'il tired a you righ' now."
"Ya are, huh? Then I guess ya got no interest in doin' it?"
"I didn' say tha'."
"So... ya wanna do it?"
"Yeah... I wanna do it."
"Do what?"
"This."
...
......
"Okay... I think I know whatcha mean now."
.........
............
...............
"Damn, Hank... Think ya sent me inta orbit there."
"'M righ there with ya, Ed. Feel like 'm up there with all them stars."
"All them stars... Damn... Think there's maybe even more 'n before. Jus' lookit 'em all..."
"Yeah... D'ya ever wonder if'n someone migh' be out there lookin' back at us?"
"All's I know is if'n someone is lookin' at us from up there righ' now they'd sure be gettin' an eye-full."
"Guess we'd better hope they're over 18."
"Maybe we better pull up tha' blanket."
"'Don' ya think it's a l'il late fer tha'?"
"Not if'n someone's jus' tunin' in."
...
......
.........
"Okay... lemme see..."
"Wha'?"
"Still tryin' ta work out an answer ta tha' question a yers from before... Jus' gotta figure in how irritatin' you can be sometimes... 'Course tha' gets offset some by how good lookin' ya are... ya know 'm purty shallow tha' way... So... oops... wait a minute... almos' forgot ta take inta account them leap years... Okay. Closest I can figure it... I'd get sick 'n tired a bein' with ya in eternity sometime 'round 'bout... Never. Never at 'bout 4:20 in the afternoon."
"4:20, huh?"
"Well... give or take a couple a minutes... if'n my figurin' was off some."
"Tha' with or withou' doin' it?"
"Either. Tha's where the give or take a couple a minutes figures in."
"Now... all's we gotta do is wait 'n see if'n there's an eternity out there somewheres..."
"Ain't makin' no bets on it, Hank. 'N ain't in no kinda rush ta find out."
"Me neither, Ed. Me neither."
...
......
"Hey... didya see tha' shootin' star, Ed?"
"Yep. Made a wish 'n everythin'."
"Never took ya fer the wishin' type."
"Ain't. Guess it were really more of a complaint. Sure wish we had some pie. Could really go fer a piece righ' 'bout now."
"Anytime ya wouldn' go fer a piece a pie?"
"Nope. Do ya s'pose they got pie in eternity?"
"Well... back at tha' gas station... when ya went back ta the truck... I took a quick look at tha' article 'bout tha' tour a heaven 'n..."
"Ain't s'prised..."
"Fella who got the tour said Jesus gave him some a tha' rocky road ice cream after lunch... So I figure if'n they got ice cream up there in heaven 'xpect they got some pie too."
"'Course them people at tha' magazine wouldn' poss'bly be makin' up none a them stories..."
"'Course not... said righ' on the cover... 'The World's Only Reliable Newspaper'."
"Yeah... 'bout as reliable as tha' Fox 'news' is 'Fair and Balanced'."
"Well... 'magine it's a l'il more reliable than tha'. Still... betcha anythin' there's pie 'n heaven."
"Guess there wouldn' be much point in it if'n there weren't..."
"Article didn' mention nothin' 'bout sex though. Think if'n I were tha' fella I mighta thought ta ask 'bout tha'... 'n a few other things. But he were only there temporary-like. Guess he didn' wanna be pushy. Maybe wear out his welcome 'n all."
"Well... like I said... ain't makin' no bets on there even bein' a heaven or eternity or nothin' like tha'. Got everythin' I need 'n want righ' here... 'n 'm jus' gonna hold onta ya as tight as I can fer as long as I poss'bly can."
"There ya go with all them sweet words again... Sure do love ya, Ed. More 'n I got the words ta say."
"Love you too, Hank. Now c'mere a l'il closer so's I can hold ya a l'il tighter."
...
......
"Where ya goin', Ed? Thought ya'd manage ta hold on fer at least a few more minutes."
"Gonna have ta let go a ya fer a l'il while every now 'n again. C'mon, Hank... 'm gettin' cold... ain't used ta the hard ground under me no more... 'n I know fer a fact tha' we got a nice warm sleepin' bag waitin' fer us in the back a tha' there truck... Uh... We do, don' we? Ya did pack the sleepin' bag, didn' ya?"
"Me? I thought you packed it?"
"Shit."
Continued in part 2, which is right here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/25594.html
P.S. Hank was just kidding. He packed the sleeping bag.