I feel trapped in an invisible cage. Can't afford to live and barely financing survival. Can't find a job where I don't get shit on and just can't seem to move forward. Is there anything worth struggling so long and so hard for?

I am blatantly sick of my life. I bust ass and finally start to make progress then I end up in an apartment with almost no cell coverage, no WiFi and a TV and PS2 that won't even fucking work together THEN my hours at work get chopped when I am already broke and really need the money after I was told how well I was doing. I have $8 to last until ( Read more... )

So far to go yet so far traveled.
Keep the gratitude and lose the attitude or I will lose it all.

The foregone conclusion hangs in the distance like a spoiler undercutting the climactic suspense ( Read more... )

Reading back through these entries I realized just how ego maniacal I was. The streets,smack, death and loss have beaten some sense into me over the years. I have gratitude today, life isn't all that serious.

I've become very disinterested in the outside world lately, I can feel myself internalizing and all I want to do is numb up with plenty of downers and go to sleep. I don't really wanna die but I have no real interest in living.

I'm blatantly sick of working in the restaurant business. I thought I was fed up a few months back but it's elevated to critical mass. They're robbing me on the tab, they're paying me minimum wage despite my having been there for over two years now and they drag their heels whenever it comes time to make right on vacation pay or my bonus. The ( Read more... )

I wanted to be clear on something, this journal is simply for me, to reflect, reminise, ect. If you're bored reading it than don't read it. If you think this is for entertainment purposes you're sure to be dissapointed. This is a disclaimer, my life isn't one of epic adventures or anything along those lines it is simply my life ( Read more... )

For those of you who know what the subject of this entry stands for it pretty much sums up my night(for those of you who don't it means "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!")Fuck, I just bit my tongue and it's bleeding. This was my evening: The restraunt got slammed (worse than a usual Friday) and we had a guy working his first Friday. This guy was a ( Read more... )

Okay, I have to get something off my chest. I am an honest man, one of a dying breed. I am not concerned with either offending or impressing you, if I decide you are worth talking to I will give you the truth, I will not dance around a subject for your absent amusement, I won't tell you what you want to hear to appease you, if you want these things ( Read more... )