Still Miss You - Keith Anderson ( Read more... )

Forward is the hardest direction I've ever moved. Some days are perfectly fine, others are just gut wrenching and heart breaking. My kids are confused, my son weepy, my daughter angry. The days we dont see him are easier than the days we do. Though we will have to get used to it, he is their dad. He isnt a horrible man, he's just a stupid man right ( Read more... )

Getting through today, thats what I'm doing. Once I get through today, I can worry about tomorrow. Doing that is making me stronger. The tears are fewer and farther between. Dont get me wrong, Im far from "all better". I still crack and break. I'm still looking for those missing pieces of me. Waking up in the middle of the night after the ( Read more... )

If you reply to this post, I will ( Read more... )

Well, yesterday, being boxing day. I woke up quite upset. This was the end of it all. Time to tell the kids and get the ball rolling. I cried all morning, I knew I had to get out of the house for a little while. So I told them, and I went to the barn to ride for a while. On my way home, my daughter called. She was very upset "Mom, do you know where ( Read more... )

I cannot seem to wrap my mind around this. Or at least shut off my mind so I dont have to deal with it anymore. I keep going back to the " I'm not in love with you anymore" or the " I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore". Does he not know the pain that causes? How does one fall out of love? I just cant seem to understand it. Why didnt he tell ( Read more... )

Respect is a strong word. I always thought I got it, recently. I'm thinking otherwise. We talked again tonight. I know where we stand now. Its over, he said so. Then he decided to "go for a drive" that was 4 and a half hours ago. He promised he'd be home soon, and he'd call if he'd be long, Or I could call him. Guess what? He's not answering, he's ( Read more... )

Here we go, another day. I couldnt sleep last night, I'd fall asleep for 10 minutes and wake up for god knows how long, fall asleep again for a while. I'm so bloody tired, but its just not coming. I am trying so hard to be strong, to be "okay". I'm not okay, that much I know for sure. My body aches, my head aches, my heart aches. I have always ( Read more... )

Well, I asked about the coucnelling. He doesnt seem to want it. Doesnt think it would work. I dont know what would work, and what wouldnt. I'm willing to try just about anything. I dont want to give up without a fight, yet... ther eagain, its down to the . "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, and wonder if they really feel the same ( Read more... )

I'm totally lost, confused scared and angry. I hate myself for not seeing this coming, for not fixing it when it could have been fixed. What am I going to do now? I dont want to be alone. I dont want to see him with someone else. I'm so scared of that. Of her, even if she doesnt turn out to be Heidi. She will turn out to be someone, someone better ( Read more... )