found.

my life's been a rollercoaster lately. believe me. all those bumps and bruises wouldnt actually match up with what my life had been for the past months when i have been inadequately QUIET.

another heartbreak wont hurt.
choking on another dose of sick lies.

terrible terrible day.
damn YOU.

well then, not everyone has his/her happy ending. ----for ( Read more... )

ive been a little lost lately. physically that is.
running out of resources. no net access daily like before.
tsk. i just miss you all.

find me.

im really really sad today.

1. my 7610 just dove into the ice chest filled with very cold water.
(just seeing it glow underwater is enough adrenaline to keep me ecstatic at first but super drained afterwards.)

2. i had my first incident report. medication error. reality sucks.
(i hate being idealistic-- i just cant accept the fact that i, actually have ( Read more... )

oh dear, im finally back.

i lost track of time already.

had a lot of reasons to cry lately.
but then the sun came out today and kissed my face-- there, it was a BIG reason to smile.

im suddenly charged. full batt, as you guys would say it.
i did some groceries today. checked my mail & friendster account.
you know, the standard busy bee that i always am ( Read more... )

may tanong ako:

1. nililimot mo na ba ako?

--
i hate ambivalence.
i pushed you away didnt i?
now why am i the one who cant even make an inch away from you.
can you lift me up back to the skies now?
even for a

guess im just missing you too.
cynical me. tsk.

i never had to deal with any patient casualties back in college for the simple reason we never had the chance to.
its not that i sort of feel disappointed or anything, its just that there is always a first time for eveything--just not in college.

there it was -- a flat line.
charging defibrillators.
inotropes all at ceiling doses.
going...

going...

gone.

( Read more... )

this past week felt like i was on a roller coaster with neverending 360-degree loops.
it made me feel mixed adrenaline rush and the nasty feeling of wanting to throw up everywhere.

1. my other doctor mis-diagnosed me, giving me a very wrong impression of what i really have.
and that she even told me i had to undergo this certain procedure to "cure" me ( Read more... )

have you ever lived a day when you feel that everything's sooo wrong and you just wanna sleep through it thinking that tomorrow's gonna be all better?

--
dammit, ngayon yon.
i cant even make lemonades out of life's bitter lemons.

don't know why I'm still afraid
if you weren't real I would make you up now
i wish that I could follow through
i know that your love is true and deep as the sea
but right now, everything you want is wrong,
and right now, all your dreams are waking up,
and right now, I wish I could follow you
to the shores of freedom,
where no one lives.

remember when we ( Read more... )

im sort of inlove with some songs.
damn lyrics. damn, damn lyrics.

--
some of them are even on incessant repeat.