ms. bean ran into the living room and asked in an animated manner if i've heard strange noises at night that sounded like a guy talking to and strangling a duck.

i told her that i'd rather deal w/ things w/in the moment than rather spend time brooding. there are many things left unsaid and i really think that i should make the confrontation. nonetheless, i don't think i'm ready as i would most likely explode. grrrr.

listening to a fav dj broadcasted over a radio show, i understood "ich verstehe nicht" as in: "i don't understand".

it's been a while since i posted. i think that some theories are remarkably true. after discussion relationships over a phone call, i took another colorgenics.com test and got ( Read more... )

There's an awfully big difference between being 'nice' and being 'kind.' Usually being 'nice' involves saying yes to a whole bunch of stuff you don't actually want to do in order to get everyone to like you. Being kind, on the other hand, usually involves thinking independently and about the long term, and saying 'no' to something when you know it' ( Read more... )

last tuesday, i moved into my 5th place since sept 2000. i find it odd given that i hate moving. i had told my previous landlord that my housemate was going to move out when the lease ended. she wasn't comfortable w/ me finding a roommate and wanted to find one for herself. instead, she chose to rent the place out to one of her friends who was ( Read more... )

in the end, we all end up like our parents regardless of whether we're aware of it or not. first memories had my father explosively upset and quick to yell. then he went to keeping things in and generally only argued behind closed doors. w/in the last few years, i've noticed him back to old habits ( Read more... )

the last few weeks have proved it. there are certain subjects i can't bring up w/ each of my friends. what bothers me is that i've gone from open discussion w/ relatively low judgemental responses to ones where i have to bit my tongue often. in short, i can't be myself and i'm bothered. in the back of my mind, i have to wonder if this is ( Read more... )

i don't know why it upsets me so much, but i'm irked when people tell me that they're only doing things because they care and worry. i think that i'm the type to seek help when i want to get it. i am independant and have issues having other people do things for me ( Read more... )

i have found myself dealing w/ anger the last few weeks. my usual response is to leave. master yoda said something like anger leads to hate, hate leads to violence, violence leads to suffering. i continually see flashes of violence when i'm around the target of my anger and think that it's best to not act upon it. nonetheless, i recognize that ( Read more... )