i can't believe him. there are just somethings that a certain set of people should know. to find out the way i did? i'm offended beyond belief. he is truly dead to me.

i have another impending sense of doom. ...more in my private journal.

i am a funnel congested at the entrance unable to flow

three of us drove 525 miles to coachella... a camping/music festival east of palm springs hosting names like:

saturday ( Read more... )

although i still believe it's only fair to warn those close to me, my choice in people and timing were way off. nonetheless, my ire is still irked. as much as i tried to meditate and kick the sh!t out of the bag, i couldn't release my frustration and anger. and i am still awake at 2:42am. grr ( Read more... )

friends are worried for me and are being vocal about it. i think their course of action is opposite of what i need and just makes things worse off. my attempts to understand their sides are seen as semantic distractions while they make no attempt to understand where i really stand. sad to say, but w/in the last 24 hrs, 2 5+ year friendships are ( Read more... )

It was in his clear moments he was troubled. It wasn't the wound, though it hurt at every step... It was his mind. Periodically, something slipped. Some everyday principle of continuity, the humdrum element that told him where he was in his own story, faded from his use, abandoning him to a waking dream in which there were thoughts, but no sense ( Read more... )

bash.org link. bash.org is a site filled many interesting IRC chats. IRC = aol chat rooms for techies or what you'd use to chat if aol didn't exist.

oh man
I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
and it exploded
ALMOST all over my keyboard
but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile ( Read more... )

i am feeling an impending sense of doom. internally, i have noticed that certain thoughts are creeping up again. externally, i have noticed that my non-conscious actions are really bugging my friends. this suggests me to believe that i'm pushing them away or i've reached their final straws. in either case, distance is gained. as to if that's ( Read more... )

i find many around me bitten by the spring fever itch, but not me. last week i figured out that all i really want to do is withdraw. it has been a long time since a gal has taken my breath away. kinda sad, but oh well. maybe even on a subconscious/physical level, i'm as picky as i am consciously. or chalk it up as another defense mechanism ( Read more... )

i will have to find a place by june 1st. i've been looking around. cool living accomodations vs cool people vs cool locations. it's all hard to manage. i regret having moved out of the place before here. i rarely regret nowadays ( Read more... )