welll everything has worked out swell. me and ben are now an item...monday and we'll have been together an entire three weeks. lol, seems like longer, he is such a sweethart...call me if ya know me, that means you kayla, patton, alex...etc...

so i am pretty sure he knows I like him and that he likes me. maybe, unless he's just one of those jerky boys, which is always a possibility. but, I don't know. turns out that he used to date Mika, a girl from drama club, she's a sweetheart. hmmmm...well, we played charades the last 2 days of drama, and that's been fun, ben and i end up on ( Read more... )

so i am pretty sure he knows I like him and that he likes me. maybe, unless he's just one of those jerky boys, which is always a possibility. but, I don't know. turns out that he used to date Mika, a girl from drama club, she's a sweetheart. hmmmm...well, we played charades the last 2 days of drama, and that's been fun, ben and i end up on ( Read more... )

not much has happened in the past fewdays. been talking with ben, of course. monday at school, i just was so glad to see him. when i talked to him, i simply felt absolved of all the guilt and worry and hurt i'd put myself thru. i never will touch david again, as it is ben i truly think is right for me, right now anywasy...i'm having a barbecu ( Read more... )

i don't know. things are not so good. not feeling terrific. first off, i really want to talk to dave, and ben, and get all that crap settled. i h8 inactivity more than anything else ( Read more... )

just had to add a few personal things, as if that last one wasn't fucking personal enough. basicaly why i am doing this is cause i don't care what anyone else thinks, for the most part (i don't believe that anyone 100% doesn't care) and why i'm explaining this, i don't know ( Read more... )

so last night after kayla left, dave and kat and i ended up drinking off a bottle of vodka. I normally don't drink, especially around my sister, and then i got into a reall moody funk cause, here i am trying not to like dave, adn it's happening anyways. i am fysickally attracted to him, (excuse the fuked spelling, it's my agitated mind at work) ( Read more... )

what can i say? i think the whole "ex-con matt" title is the funniest thing in the world! kayla says that she's glad there's only one ov her so no 1 can put an adjective in front of her silly name! (okya, so i added the whole silly part ( Read more... )

on a totally different note, maybe i should talk about religion. or not. maybe i should jot down soem poetry for y'all. or maybe not, hummmm...i just don't wanna go to bed i think. too worked up over that last entry, all of two seconds ago. lol. i need a new cd...got my little sister's cd case, can't find meine, shit.goolly, she's a freakin ( Read more... )

i remember back in the day like in grade school i really didn't know who i was. i went through that way before all the other kids did. i guess that's why i am what i am. i already am comfortable (sneeze) with myself and confidant too (it was an uphill strugle to get here) and that draws many different people to me. except when i am with rachael ( Read more... )