its been a week since i havent used my meds...its not good. really im irritated as hell and i just want to hurt myself so i can feel something. is that bad?

to make things worse. i just want brandon. yes brandon. i dont even know him really. ugh wtf is wrong with me. kevin is just so stagnant and i know i wont lose him.i dont have to put any

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so...things have been really rocky around here lately...and well its not good........i thought my problems were solved but its not really...because a bigger one came to...fuck...

its really unfair how a girl can influence a guy's decision

iwas great...i had fun really i did. thanx to my awesome roomies!! really i wouldnt have wanted it any other way. i remember what happened no one blacked out except for mary. hehe and she got written on. it was great ( Read more... )

kay....my sidekick is buzzing like crazy...like crazy i tell you...its buzzzing from janice's IMs...kevin already went to bed...after the whole "babe i'll be back" one phone call later and he is sleeping...lately, he's been well making me happy..half the time he makes me mad and gets the nickname "el bastardo" but really...who am i to call him that ( Read more... )

last night was fun....i havent gone to the street races since well i was 18?? funny how mary just got into it now...and im over it? janice and i sat in brandon's car jus chillin that was pretty hilarious i guess ( Read more... )

sugar. thats what i need. i need something to sweeten this life of mine right now! nuts. i know...forever and ever and ever i shall love you...right...proved that wrong 2 seconds into the conversation...it saddens me that im hung up on him...STILL grrr its been a week since he left for la escuela. i shouldnt care because obviously we both wanted it ( Read more... )

"to our history" that was why we took those shots of tequila @ your party...in front of everyone who just happend to look on with blank faces...as we downed those damn things like old times....were they good ones?? cuzz i'd like to know...maybe someday we'll both own up to each other's feelings...but today im moving on...i will always and forever ( Read more... )

took me long enough to update about mexico...but grrr i've been sick like crazy talk about puking my guts out every morning it seems....yuck!! i worked total of umh....16 hours since i got back from mexico....paycheck is going to suck but oh well....my last paycheck...hahah damn....the other one i bought shoes and stuff with..so its all gravy i ( Read more... )

i mean...ok...so it was bound to happen i was finally going to hook up with someone from this damn town called stockton...yes someone that i didnt go to school with...ie older than me...and i havent met before i guess...at least NOT in the same crowds that i usually hang out with when im home ( Read more... )