F'list has definitely died ( Read more... )

Todays Earth Shattering NewsDon't talk to me about microwaves. You can cook 10 times faster in them but put something inside that has the tiniest amount of metal in it and *BOOM ( Read more... )

Bored at work [stop]

Everyone is thick [stop]

Miss the weekend [stop]

One day, I hope it will [stop]

To cheer myself up, a joke...

What do you call an Irish lesbian?

Nathan: I don't know, what do you call an Irish lesbian?

A Gaelic!

Think about it!

A computer blew up at work today. No one died, but they were almost murdered when I found out why it had exploded. A female was doing her nails (you dont find *men* doing this kind of thing) and knocked her coffee into her power point. No nail was broken during this episode ( Read more... )

Had too much Stella last night.

Mixed with cider.

Aftershock.

Whiskey.

Voddy.

Port.

Rum.

Any wonder I vomit when I put the tip of a greasy sausage in my mouth.

Why do I always recite this when I'm drunk? It's so fucking sad how I know all the words but can I hell remember them sober.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your ( Read more... )