I tried to drop hints - talking about Asperger's people using the pronoun "we", when they'd been saying "they" - but they didn't pick up on it and I couldn't say it straight out.
They didn't pick up on that? Wow... but that's so obvious. O_o
but there was the same sort of... locked-upness somewhere in my throat, not stopping me breathing but stopping me talking. That doesn't convey what it feels like particularly well at all, but the effect is, I just couldn't speak. I couldn't protest. I couldn't tell them they were wrong.
I get that from time to time. It's odd how people seem to assume you have the same background, and share the same opinions, as they do. Often it's that assumption that makes it difficult to say anything. "Shut-up, you don't know what you are talking about" unfortunately doesn't win you friends either. And there's the fear that if you tell them why you hold the opinions you do, they'll suddenly treat you differently. Can't say I've ever found a way around that sorry. Not a way that makes me feel better about the
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Can I tell you what I've done before? I don't have Asperger's, but I have been at training sessions etc where participants have discussed a set of people to which I belong without realising I belong, if you follow. OK, let's say for example (and to add some much-needed clarity to my ramblings!) that the participants were discussing rape victims. And during the conversation I felt, as you did, that I wasn't able to talk
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Or even just say something to the instructor not to be addressed to the whole group, but to change the way they moderate the group. All kinds of levels you could object at, depending on what works for you right now.
Does the book say the character's got Asperger's? All the reviews I've ever seen describe him as autistic, with no specific flavor. Though I guess he must be somewhere in the aspergers/high-functioning area. But yeah, anyway, spectrum people, spectrum. Also, individuals.
I'm Scottish. We like to talk directly... say it straight... and we expect other people to do the same. Life is too short to piss about etc. 'spit it out' etc.
One thing I have noticed in NZ is that a lot of kiwi's do seem to have problems in just 'saying it straight'. This makes it harder for me (being mildly Aspie) to realise that they are actually trying to say something or 'break something gently to me'. I really wish they wouldn't. JUST SAY IT STRAIGHT OUT! Sorry, I shouldn't at myself. They're not going to hurt my feelings or anything like that. But I'll be more pissed off if an hour has been wasted and communication hasn't been achieved. I do wish kiwi's (I generalise of course) would learn to just say whatever it is they find so constrained... but social ettiquette or whatever is holding them back. Culture?
You're not going to shock your audience by saying you're Aspie or whatever. It's no big thing. We're all different in some way. If they have a problem with something...then, strangely... It's their problem.
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I'm a little late to comment, but, the situation at your course sounds awkward. How did it pan out? Are you ok?
How is your life going? I miss seeing just day to day updates from you. Not that I can talk, when it comes to updating. I think for me it's just that I can't be real about things without revealing stuff I'm not allowed to talk about, at all. It's a lonely dilemma.
Again, way too late to comment, really, but I like the idea of writing something down and then talking to the tutor privately. Even if you don't show the written down thing, it might help you get your thoughts in order before you have to actually talk to someone. I often feel the same when people are saying prejudiced and ignorant things about Christians in my Psychology class. It's so frustrating being tarred with a brush that doesn't even apply to you, you only nominally belong to the category they think they're talking about! (Does that make any sense at all
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They didn't pick up on that? Wow... but that's so obvious. O_o
but there was the same sort of... locked-upness somewhere in my throat, not stopping me breathing but stopping me talking. That doesn't convey what it feels like particularly well at all, but the effect is, I just couldn't speak. I couldn't protest. I couldn't tell them they were wrong.
I get that from time to time. It's odd how people seem to assume you have the same background, and share the same opinions, as they do. Often it's that assumption that makes it difficult to say anything. "Shut-up, you don't know what you are talking about" unfortunately doesn't win you friends either. And there's the fear that if you tell them why you hold the opinions you do, they'll suddenly treat you differently. Can't say I've ever found a way around that sorry. Not a way that makes me feel better about the ( ... )
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Does the book say the character's got Asperger's? All the reviews I've ever seen describe him as autistic, with no specific flavor. Though I guess he must be somewhere in the aspergers/high-functioning area. But yeah, anyway, spectrum people, spectrum. Also, individuals.
Nice icon! Luna rocks.
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One thing I have noticed in NZ is that a lot of kiwi's do seem to have problems in just 'saying it straight'. This makes it harder for me (being mildly Aspie) to realise that they are actually trying to say something or 'break something gently to me'. I really wish they wouldn't. JUST SAY IT STRAIGHT OUT! Sorry, I shouldn't at myself. They're not going to hurt my feelings or anything like that. But I'll be more pissed off if an hour has been wasted and communication hasn't been achieved. I do wish kiwi's (I generalise of course) would learn to just say whatever it is they find so constrained... but social ettiquette or whatever is holding them back. Culture?
You're not going to shock your audience by saying you're Aspie or whatever. It's no big thing. We're all different in some way. If they have a problem with something...then, strangely... It's their problem. ( ... )
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How is your life going? I miss seeing just day to day updates from you. Not that I can talk, when it comes to updating. I think for me it's just that I can't be real about things without revealing stuff I'm not allowed to talk about, at all. It's a lonely dilemma.
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