Beast Boy Goes for a Swim

[naria_teal]

Title: Beast Boy Goes for a Swim
Series: Teen Titans (Animated)
Characters: Beast Boy/Aqualad
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1,680
Author's notes: Don't own 'em, kinda wish I did. Set after Deep Six before the end of season one. Think of it as an alternative to season two's Every Dog Has It's Day. Comments/Critiques incouraged and appriciated!

Comments

[anarose13]

It's good!! I like it! Except I know pretty much nothing about Teen Titans, but that's OK, I really liked the writing style, and your characters. Beast Boy was totally believable, and you made it clear what the other characters were like. Awesome!

The only real suggestion I have is to try to show and not tell. For example, instead of saying "Rocketing through the air, it was a total rush... It’d been a while since he’d gone fishy, and boy did it feel good!" you could say something like "Rocketing through the air, a total rush of adraline and joy flooded his system... It'd been a while since he'd gone fishy, and boy did the silky water against his skin feel good!" That's really the only suggestion I have. That, and it's "route" not "root." : ) We love that spell check.

All in all, from one writer to another, if you get published before me, I may be very upset. Sister rivalry and all that. : ) You'd better sign a copy of your book for me!!

[stinglikeabee]

Love it! Your BB is very true to the show's version, and I'd love to read more :D

[svetlanafy]

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