Rating Community

[narniarose]

I had joined a group on here called "non-ugly fats." I thought they were one of those groups trying to teach people to revise their idea of beauty. They have an "application" process where you post some pics. I received all NOs and wrote to them to ask what's the deal. They explained to me that they are "a rating community" and I wrote back the

Comments

[ymasen]

oy :/

Every generation - in their late teens, early 20s are stupid and self-centered. I know I felt mine was that way a decade ago. But we do grow up and get a clue. They're children realy, at 18-21. Wait until they pass 25 and THEN they can apply for mature adulthood ;)

[narniarose]

I agree that there is a contingent in every generation that needs to get a clue. I just don't understand the unadulterated HATRED and mean-spiritedness in this one. Although, certainly the adults in the entertainment industry have added to it. And uninvolved parents of MY generation. So sad.

[narniarose]

You should go look at the thread. It's unbelievable. Two of them are going back and forth continuing to insult and be petty and mean-spirited, and even quoted what you said to me. It's just pitiful.

I say wait until 35 for *a lot* of people to "mature" ,and also...

[phoenix_defiant]

Fat/overweight body size will *always* be allowed to be ridiculed in our culture I'm afraid. :( It is the last bastion of widely accepted prejudice. And I fear that with each generation becoming more about rampant self-centered self-aggrandizement & "privilege", and being so easily led by American commercialism that *still* worships the skinny & the "barbie-doll" images, young Americans are not getting any more open-minded or generous in spirit. :(

[maugorn]

You know, when someone says something like:
"please leave the internet", they totally reveal how vulnerable they are.

My answer to such:
"Hmm. Interesting. Are you saying that if I *stay* on the internet, then I'm actually BOTHERING a stupid, self-absorbed, immature little twit like you, and ALL I have to do is NOTHING? Wow. You actually have to do work to bother me, and all I have to do is just stay here. Hmm.
This is gonna be easy and fun. So, how about-
no. I won't 'leave the internet' JUST TO BOTHER _YOU_."

[narniarose]

LOL. You don't know how much I wanted to say something like that! But I'm a social worker, and I can't help but consider what inner workings (trauma?) move people to be mean-spirited and lash out at others like that. It's sad, really.

[maugorn]

That's very generous and understanding.

Such people do need to be taught rather than to simply be punished.

But IMHO, sometimes there comes a time when an education is best effected by a judicious application of negative reinforcement for bad behaviour.

Pointing out that they don't get to make the rules is hardly an abusive slap. You're not quashing dissent, by simply owning your own right to reciprocity.
Pointing out that it's their *choice* how to respond to you is simply a lesson in problem ownership.

[narniarose]

I think I opened a can of worms. They have the whole community attacking me now. How sad.

[narniarose]

Thank you, sweetie! I just feel sad for them all! But they're young - they will learn (at least I hope so!).

[chargirlgenius]

That's the power of the internet - the power to surround yourself with people that agree with you, no matter how petty and wrong you are.

[chargirlgenius]

Sheesh. You made a mistake, admitted it, and they're dogpiling? And admitting that they set you up for it?

Classy.

[ladyhelwynn]

Love your icon!

I think that list could also use "Calling someone ugly doesn't make you any prettier".

[chargirlgenius]

I so rarely get to use the icon, because I'm usually in the process of calling people stupid for calling other people stupid... *sigh* I just can't win. ;-)

[narniarose]

Yeah, oh well.... I guess my higher calling is showing?

[ladyhelwynn]

I took a look at that community and felt very sad for those folks and for you for having to read their nasty comments.

Seriously, they really need something better to do with their life than to be constantly snarking other people in mean, vicious ways.

That group just kinda made me want to throw up. I'm glad you've left.

[chargirlgenius]

The fun part is watching them snark us snarking them. It's like a quantum space time snark wormhole (or some geeky shit like that).

[narniarose]

That's awesome!

[narniarose]

Yeah, me too. They are still sending me hateful stuff.