im so meloncholy right now.. i feel so out of the loop.. the social circle. i feel as tho i dont have very many friends; and if i do theyre invincible. i was just talking to azita. lol i was dumping on her. wtf do i write this shit for anyways. no one fucking reads it. i think this will be my last entry. its a waste of space.. and im sure the ( Read more... )

i want an egg. a sunny side up egg. w/ hot sauce and lemon pepper. and a peice of toast. i cant beleive im writing about it.. i want it like i want business.. no wait i want it like i want pretty blu eyes... hes so scrumptious. im chatting with azita to the sound of anti-flag. i want to see my son. i havent seen him ever.. before. so i would very ( Read more... )

today i went to spin class for the first time in about 3 weeks. it was all good except for wen we cooled down. usually thats the best part b/c you stretch and "meditate". so this girl is talking to me.. who had been talking to me throught the whole class.. and i would nod a yes or no or hunch a i dont kno in reply. i didnt mind.. but i guess we ( Read more... )

oh my dear lord. i wonder how it feels to be bashed to death with something soft. i am a murderer. o wow. a murderer. fuck.. i always do this shit. i always kill the wrong ones. but its such a spur of the moment thing. you have to attack or be attacked, and i was the lucky one. im the one whos alive now. plus you never know.. now a days they carry ( Read more... )

my dog is neglecting me. and my stomache is talking to me. i cant remember the lst time i ate, i think yesterday i had rice. i think i remember it being quite delicious. but my mind plays tricks on me.. making me forget that ive eaten so ill eat more. poisonous, decietful mind. alex gave me a chance to change his mind about hating me and i think we ( Read more... )

ive been trying to write about friday for the lognest now and just have been to distracted to do so. therfore i will try and scrape the walls of my empty head to find some sort of memory...friday. so i wake up. dont get dressed. eat cinnamon rice..then proceed to watch a movie with father. i was such a lame movie too. it was soooo retarded. i cant ( Read more... )

ha. i just woke up like an hour ago. lets see.. nope two hours ago. 3:34 to be exact. all i have to say about how i feel right now is ugh. i wanna die. i feel like i am dying. im about to o.d. on nyquil and pain killers. lol not really but im gonna engulf myself in the ecstacy of being numb.... first lemme call my fiance and tell him how much i ( Read more... )

this morning im going to try and fall asleep at 2:30. jonny says i wont make it because im setting out to actually do it. i would tell you about today or rather yesterday... but i am very tired and i feel... my stomache beggining to ache.. that lil alien is starting to reconstuct itself, after i tried to abort it with painkillers. i did so many ( Read more... )

still awake.. wow.. ill try to go to sleep now. the sun rise was to die for. middle eastern beans to the first and second power.. i think this ones a good one too: http://www.tweaker.org

my stomache is really killing me. like something is stuck inside of me and its trying claw its way out of my body..AZITA HAS A PSYCHO BLACK STALKER {{says she}}... out of my stomache; crawling..clawing, sratching at its newly acquired home..i imagine it being black..so blak its green.. like the aliens from aliens++++++ im talking to azita.. i woke ( Read more... )