I expect things to catch fire all the time. I'd like to not.

I don't know anything.

How is it that I exist on this earth with no clear sense of where I stand or how things are? Everything open to interpretation, nothing really solid? How is it that I constantly contradict myself and mean it? Swing wildly between opposing perceptions?

I wish I knew how to cling to an ideology and not budge.

Please let things stay like this. Everything is good again. Trust, closeness and teamwork cranked up. Fears, resentments and egos cranked all the way down.

This is better than I've ever known and I want this to remain the normal.

He agreed to what I need. Everything. Unconditionally ( Read more... )

It's just no use. We have to break this off.

I love him more than words can express but the power dynamic is so fucked in this situation that I'm unable to cope. I feel like I have no voice and it makes me lonely and miserable most of the time. We stopped being equals at some point, and as soon as we did, we stopped being cohorts.

I want a cohort. ( Read more... )

...when I said that the more you destabilize me...the more insecure you make me, the more you use my own heart as leverage, the more I mistrust. Mistrust leads to disgust. Disgust leads to revulsion ( Read more... )

Put myself in a situation where I am utterly powerless over everything:
household decisions, purchases, use of space, furnishings, logistics--even when/if I can plan a wedding and the terms and conditions under which I will be bound in my marriage...simply because someone else owns the purse-strings. I want OUT but now I'm stuck unless we break-up ( Read more... )

Nothing else to say.

http://navkat.livejournal.com/172897.html

There is nothing that I do or that I want that he's onboard for. Nothing ( Read more... )